safety net (kepat au)

46 (2)

I then eat and do the things that I regularly do before bed. I also grabbed the beddings that I received as a gift last time. Now, this is its purpose, I'm wondering at first why do I need this but then it's indeed a big help at times like this.

I now entered the room and saw Daniel awake, he's leaning his back against the headboard and there's a big space beside him. He's currently reading one of my books he randomly grabbed I guess.

With me entering the place, carrying a massive single mattress he looked at me weirdly, book on his lap.

"What is that for?" he asked with a cloggish voice, maybe his colds.

"Things to sleep on?" I said as I struggle to assemble it on the floor.

"You don't have to do that," he pats the big space on his side

"I don't want to catch a cold," I said and placed a new pillow which is also from the gift, it's a set which is I didn't know.

"I'm sorry" and then a shuffling move, he's now lying near the edge of the bed, close to my position.

"Hmm, let's sleep," I said and then turn my back.

I close my eyes but it's just black for some minutes. I easily can sleep but how come I'm struggling two times in a row?

I checked the time and it's almost midnight. I need to do something to make me fall asleep!

"Daniel," I faced him even though I know I can't see his state right now.

"Daniel..." I rose a bit to check on him and he's now in a deep sleep.

I laid back to my bed and sighed, maybe I should voice this out for the sake of me sleeping even if he won't hear this. And it's much better I guess?

"Daniel, as what I was about to say earlier, I would like to correct your phrase back then. I hold neither grudge nor hatred towards you. It's an 'I hate myself for acting like that' feeling rather."

I scooped up and lean my back on the body of the bedside table near my head. I now can see his whole face, it's for checking if he's awake and also to see if he might change his expression.

"I don't blame you either, it's just that painful to get cut off by a friend. Painful than being friend-zoned by you without your knowledge because you didn't even know that I liked you during those days. It's my fault, if I just listened to Nine and Liu Yu's scolding, I shouldn't get to that point, if I don't let this feeling get out of hand, we should've stayed friends up til now. But maybe, this is what was planned to us."

I then scooted over, leaning closer to him as if scanning every little detail on his face.

"You know, I've been waiting for you to approach me the next day after that dramatic night, tell me that whatever you did, whatever you say that night was because of alcohol and you didn't mean to cut us. But that didn't happen. I... I'm sorry for messing up your mind, I hope when the time comes, you'll come and catch up with me. But that time, I'll assure you I've already moved on,"

I smiled at him as if he'll see it. I also uttered a 'good night' and then tried to sleep, just a few seconds of closing my eyes, I'm now in the dreamland.