The Roses That Grew From The Concretes 2

Ch. 60

Cali's POV

" How you feeling today Caliana?" Mrs. V asked me as my therapy session began.

" I'm hea, so dat counts fa something right?"

" It definitely does. Last time you were here you was excited about getting your bandages removed. How did that go?" She asked putting an even bigger damper on my mood.

" Horrible."

" Were you not able to get them removed?" She asked.

" I got them removed, but I don't like how my scars look." I said truthfully.

" Is that why you're wearing that today?" She asked.

I had on a jogging suit that covered all of my scars of course.

" Yeah."

" I'm sure. It's not that bad."  She said sincerely.

" Ehh, I beg to differ. But what more can I do about ya know?"

" I know you got those scars from your wreck, but do you recall anything about your wreck? Have you had any flashbacks yet?"

" I still have nightmares about it, but all I remember is the truck flipping. I still don't remember what actually happened before that tho. I just know what my child's father told me."

" And what did he tell you?"

" Dat somebody tried to kill me all because of Bezel."

" How did you feel when you found out?"

I didn't answer the question.

" It looks as if you have a lot on your mind when I asked you that. You wanna talk about what's bothering you? If you don't that's fine." She reassured me.

" Son, I'm fucking aggravated! I'm irritated, angry, and hurt. Like I'm so blowed right now. Like I gotta big fucking heart, and people be using dat shit against me. It's like I wanna be this cold hearted person, but even after everything that happened to me my heart still won't let me. And I really wanna be, but I can't no matter how hard I try." I said truthfully.

" That's very common for you to feel that way. The emotions you're going through right now are just a part of your healing. There's no need for you to feel bad about it's either. Has he tried to reach out to you since your wreck?"

" Yeah, but I don't want anything to do with him."

" So, you don't care to hear his side? You don't wanna hear him out? Maybe there's something he knows, and you don't. There's nothing he can say to repair some type of relationship with you, whether that's romantically or strictly as friends?"

" No, I hate him. He's partially the reason as to why I'm in this situation I'm in. So, we aren't friends and never will be anything ever again. His words, and his apologies can't change anything nor can they do anything fa me. I hate him so much, but I can't blame nobody else, but me cause this is my karma for trying to find the same love Shy gave me in him." I said as I wiped my tears.

She passed me some tissues, " So you blame yourself as well?"

" Yeah, cause had I not cross that boundary with Bezel. I wouldn't be in this situation."

" And can you clarify as to what situation would that be?" She asked giving me her undivided attention.

" He's the reason why I lost everything. My club, my career, my reputation. He's the reason I look this way. All of it is his fault. But none of it would've happened if I just would've left him as a part of my past."