The Phlebotomy Professor (Teacher x Student || Intersex)

38.

Unedited.

Novalie:

"Baby, try and eat okay?" Sage whispered as she rubbed a hand up and down my back. I was in absolute shambles, wishing she didn't pop up the way that she did. I wanted nothing more than to punch both of them in the face. My anger kept projecting as sadness and I hated it. I wasn't sad. I could give a shit less about that lady.

I was angry. I was angry that Claire is choosing her so quickly with no regard for how I feel. It hasn't even been three days and she's already comfortable enough to sleep over her house? I should go over there and pull her by her ear back home.

But I knew I couldn't do that. I wasn't her mother. I didn't have to play mommy anymore now that her real, rich and fabulous mom was back. Over the years I didn't do any sort of research on her. I wanted nothing to do with her, but after getting that text message I couldn't help but do some research.

The woman was a fucking brand ambassador. She had over a million followers on Instagram. Everyone loved her dynamic, the hood rich husband and the bougie wife that had a past.

Her youngest daughter looked just like Claire when she was younger. She was a bit lighter in complexion, but had her entire face considering she looked like her mom. She had another teenager in the photo but I knew that was from the fathers side. She looked like she was Claire's age and had an Instagram full of tik toks and did her own hair.

I already know that's the reason why she wants to sleepover. She finally had a sister that had enough time and money to do whatever she wants. Someone her age that she could relate to and wouldn't demand her around like her mother.

I laughed humorlessly at the thought, causing Sage to look at me in confusion and concern. I shook my head, feeling sick to my stomach as I swallowed my rage.

"I'll eat later. I want to sleep."

"You have to eat, babe. Please don't let this get to you-"

"How? How? She's getting the life she always wanted while I'm just..forgotten! I wouldn't be surprised if she decides she wants to live there. She has everything she wants." I chuckled as I balled my hands in fists.

Sage slowly sat down and grabbed my hands causing me to look up at her with exhausted eyes. She smiled sadly and leaned down, kissing my knuckles.

"I want you to be completely honest with me when I ask this okay? Because I feel like this is going a little deeper than what I see on the surface." Sage whispered as she tucked a piece of my messy hair behind my ear. I nodded and swallowed hard, the tears immediately welling in my eyes as she started to speak.

"Novalie..I think that..a small piece deep inside of you is a little jealous. Now, you have every right to be. But I think your inner child is hurt, baby. I think that little part of you wants to sleep over and be as naive as Claire because you missed your mother just as much as she did, if not more."

"And how would you know?" I scoffed quietly causing her to squeeze my hand.

"Because when you opened that door, I watched your entire inner child break into pieces right in front of me. That's why. You're not only angry and hurt because Claire doesn't acknowledge you as her guardian, but you're also jealous because it's possible she can have the family that you always wanted and it's too late for you to enjoy it. To see past the torture that you had to endure. And you have every right to be angry. I just think you need to acknowledge that too."

I glared up at Sage and she just stared back with compassion which broke down the angry barrier I had up. My eyes softened and the tears streamed down my face as I sobbed quietly.

"It's just not fair. It's not fair at all. She just forgets about me. Both of them forgot about me. My mom knows I'm an adult. She showed up on Claire's birthday on purpose because she knows it isn't too late for her to be a mother to her, but it is for me. It's why she didn't try hard enough. Claire can just..sleep over and have fun and laugh on the phone at night. What about me? I can't enjoy that. I don't have a dad, I don't have anyone but Claire and she just gets a family out of nowhere? And chooses to be mad at me for wanting to protect her from getting hurt? It's not fair."

"And you have every right to feel that way, mama. You really do. And I'm so sorry that there isn't more that I can do to help you get through this. Just..I want you to take a deep breath and promise yourself from now on to choose yourself. It's easier said than done but you've sacrificed enough. Don't sacrifice your mental health either."

"I'm trying, I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I want to talk to her or punch her. I don't know." I responded as I started to calm down, letting in a shaky breath from crying so hard.

"You do what you feel is best for you. Take everyone else out of the equation and think about YOU. What will make you feel better? What will help that inner child and inner teenager feel secure?"

I sighed loudly and looked up at the ceiling as I tried to answer that question the best way that I could. I wasn't sure what I needed right now. I felt like I was all over the place physically and mentally, and I just wanted a break.

"It could be anything?" I asked as I looked back at Sage. She nodded with a soft smile and I sighed.

"A vacation. I've never had one, always wanted one. But I want something that's stress relieving like...a hot oil massage or some bullshit. Maybe a chiropractor. Just..something to help me physically and mentally relax."

"That sounds like something you really would enjoy."

"Only of you come with me. But I think before I do that I need to talk to Claire and her mother. I don't think I'll be able to really relax on a vacation if I know I'd have to come back to tension right after."

"Whatever it is that you need, we can do it. Okay?"

I did my best to hold back an 'I love you' as I analyzed Sage's kind face. We haven't said it since the night I gave her my virginity, but I know it's there. I just didn't want to say it and throw her off. I know she probably thinks I said it to keep her around, but I meant it and it just grew from that day on.

But instead I nodded and swallowed hard, before pulling her into my arms and laying down with her head on my chest.