Project 863 x Reader One Shots

Ben X Reader: 6:14; 6:15; 6:23

Warning: Mentions of self-arm and suicide.

I look at the team as they picked on each other. I smile seeing them all together again. After Nelson had taken over Matt, the air was always thick and gloomy but now that Matt is back the air was light and happy. Someone sits down next to me causing me to look over to see Ben had sat down next to me. Ben had now joined our team since he was away from Nelson's grasp.

"Hey can I ask you something?" Ben asks.

"Sure what is it?" I say.

"You're tattoo what does it mean?" Ben asks.

The whole room goes silent. Everyone but Ben knew what it meant. "You don't have to answer that Y/N. It's none of his business" Matt says protectively.

"No it's okay. I don't mind telling Ben" I say turn to Ben completely. "I will warn you it's not a pleasant story"

"Just tell me whay your comfortable with telling me" Ben says.

I nod smiling slightly. I slide the sleeve of the sweatshirt I was wearing revealing my tattoo with was a date with three times underneath. "This is the date that I tried to take my life. The times under is to show how quickly a life could end." I explain. "My life hasn't always been great. I moved out of my house at the age of 16 because my parents didn't really care about me at all. I moved in with Matt and his family actually. I worked two jobs just to help pay for me living with them. One day it just got too much. At 6:14 I wrote a note goodbye. At 6:15 I had slit my wrists while laying in the bathroom tub. At 6:20 was when Matt found me. The paramedics told him that 2 more minutes and I would have been too far gone to save."

Matt sits down behind me and hugs me tightly. "I was so scared that I was going to lose my best friend that day. Im lucky I didn't." Matt says.

"I realized after that day that I couldn't leave my best friend to fend the world off by himself. The world is cruel and no one should be alone" I explained "I felt alone that day but Matt showe me I wasn't alone"

"Well Im glad he did. Im happy your here" Ben says smiling.

"Thank you" I say. "Im happy you are here as well."

I felt better knowing Ben knew. I went home feeling the best I had in a long time. That didn't last long since my mom called me. My parents never really called unless they needed something from. Typically it was money. When I got off the phone, my vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. I open my texts and pulled up my conversation with Ben.

Me: im not okay right now...

I sent the text before setting my phone on the stand next to me. The phone buzzed but I didn't bother to pick up as my mind clouded with hateful thoughts. I press my hands to my face as I cried out. The emotions were started to get to much. I got up and stumbled down the hall to bathroom. I collapsed down onto my knees in front of the sink. I open the cabinet doors under the sink and reach for the box in the back.

I sobbed and I worked on getting the lock on the box open. I scream in frustration when the lock wont come off. I smash the box against the floor breaking it open. I pick up one of the razors blades that fell out of the box. I sit back against the wall as I twirl the blade in my hand. I sob harder as I move to press the blade to my wrist.

The door to the bathroom is thrown open. Ben kneels down next to me gently taking the blade from me. He pulls me into a tight hug. I grasp his sweatshirt as I cry into it. He rubs my back with one hands as he cleans up the razors off the floor putting them back into the broken box. He sets the box up on the sink counter before moving to pull me into his lap.

"Shhh I got you" He whispers to me softly.

"Why me?" I sob. "Why can't they just want me to be their daughter not a their fucking bank. Is that all I am? A fucking piggy bank?"

"No you're not. You are an amazing individual who has so many people who care about you as a person. Your parents do not deserve you" Ben says. He presses kisses to my head gently.

I hold onto him tightly as I cry. I match my breathing with his as I attempt to calm down. He holds me until I calm down complete. I pull away slightly so I could look at him. He pulls the wet strains of hair away from my face. He puts his hands on my cheeks.

"You aren’t alone" Ben says "I will stop whatever I'm doing to be here for you."

"Why? You barely know me" I say.

"Maybe but I care about you. The moment I saw you... you tugged on the strings of my heart." Ben says. "I want to get to know you"

I look at him for a bit not saying anything. I lean forward and gently kisses him. He pulls me closer kissing me back. When we pull away from each other, he smiles at me slightly. I hold his face gently.

"Thank you" I say to him.

"Anything for you" he says causing me to smile.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask. "I don't want to be alone."

"I can stay" Ben says

I nod leaning back into to kiss Ben again

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As someone who as dealt with suicide and self-harm. I want to let everyone who may be struggling, know that sometimes the world is awful. It can suck and it may seem like it will never get better. I'm here to tell you that you are not alone. You never have to go through it alone, I'll be your friend in your time of need. I will be your virtual shoulder to cry on whenever you need help or feel alone

~ Brooke
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As someone who went through thoughts of suicide and dealt with Self-harm. I wanna let everyone know who may be trying to get through and are struggling that the world sucks sometimes. It may be seem like things will never get better but know that you aren't alone. You'll never have to be alone with anything you are going through. I will be that person to listen and help you anyway I can. Your life is so precious and important. You are loved.

~Beanie