Change (evansson story)

Chapter fourty nine

Novas POV

The door to my room opened and I saw a face I really did not expect to see. Well a few faces actually.

Scarlett's POV

Yep to say my family weren't at all happy with my current situation was a understatement. My mums reaction was this " what do you mean she knows?" And I sighed when she asked that " she know sun her mum and hates me more then I think I can word" and I heard my mum sigh " it's okay love she's gonna forgive you. I'm surprised she didn't taruggt after you told her about you're post natal depression" and I groaned " I didn't tell her yet. I don't really want her to know if I'm being honest" and my mum spoke very loudly " no no more lieing you tell that girl the whole truth so she knows exactly what happened" and I nodde even though she couldn't see me. " I'm coming over I have to see the damage for myself" and I nodded again but I told her okay because what else can I do I don't have much of a choice. It's my fault we're all in this mess if I'd just told her it's all be so much more better. She'd know how Much I love her and how much my family love her. She's have grown up with me and be my princess and as much as she did that she didn't call me her mother and that hurts me everyday because she's mine na so let her down. I was supposed to protect her and I let her down. She was better off without me.

I had to tell Chris who looked scared we were all
Scared of my mother even my daughters. That's weird getting to say that but it's also making me feel all warm and happy inside like it's right to
Say that. " nova is gonna have fun" Chris said band i nodded I just hope nova doesn't keep taking out all her anger if everyone else because it's my fault not there's. I can't keep letting eveyone take the blame for what I did to my child. And she won't forgive me but that's my own fault no one else's.

After abit I decided I'd make dinner as it's all I can do right now to keep myself busy form not over thinking about nova. I remember when I can up with her name it was the best and worst thing I had to do. I knew that it was her name for ever and I wanted her to have a name that made her feel pretty. I did that same with rose. She's my little rose and no movalies my little novalie. I remember when she was smaller and heard the song Ophelia. She thought that the song was about her it was so cute. I loved seeing her face brighten and her telling eveyone with ears that the song was about her. Even if she'd never met any of the band it's about her. Rose is kinda the same with that song but that says rosemary and my child just what's her own name. Novas name was one I'd heard while in a meeting with some people from a magazine. They were telling me the names of there's kids. And we'll one was called nova and the other Ophelia and well I just fell in love there and then. I was very wakey with nova the and I wasn't showing so no one knew I was hiding my pregnancy.

I'd tried to help Lizzie with the garden but she says whne I'm stressed or in a mood the plants can feel my stress and they don't do well. I thinks he says that because I talk a lot when I'm stressed and she just does not wanna hear any of it at all. She hates hearing about any of it and I can't blame her or be fair. I decided I'd make pasta but it's gluten feee both my girls have a gluten thing and we'll I hate seeing them both in pain. It hurts me more then then and I don't know if hats possible. Nova was inch a big child when she was roses age. She could have a flu but still she would need special treatment and looking after or she'd complain and whine until her head looked like it was ready to fall off. Rose was upstairs playing with her dolls while nova was still locked up in her room.

I didn't know how I was going to make it up to her but words don't mean much. Actually they never have to nova she's always said that too. She doesn't think much of words but being told something and shown osntjing are two different thing for her.

I heard a knocking on the door and I wanted to not answer it maybe my family would leave so I could just ignore gauging that's going on and pretend that it's all okay for a few minutes but was that gonna happen nope no it wasn't. " Scarlett" I heard my mother say and I groaned great Chris let them in. It's not Lizzie bevy she's outside and well my kids know not to open the door when they don't know who ut is. I saw my mum walk in and I smiled but she didn't match but at all. " if you'd listened to me-" and I sighed great a lecture just what I wanna hear. " I know. Now  please save   the lecture please " and she didn't seem to be listening to my pleading because " this is what happens when you hurt you're kids" and I groaned god can nova hear what torture I go through. Maybe it's make her day to know I'm miserable not just form this nagging but form not having her and her being mad at me. It hurts me more then she knows and more then I wanna tell her. She's my world yet I have to keep her safe from me. All I do is hurt her.

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Remember to drink water
Eat a full meal

My messages are always open

Till the next chapter my loves❣️