𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐲 | q. fabray

Mash Off

"What you're doing is appalling," Kurt said as he and Adalynn stormed into Sue Sylvester's office after seeing her campagne commercial the previous night. "Do you know 20% of all voters think our dad actually has a baboon heart?"

"It's not personal, Porcelain siblings," Sue said as she polished her trophy. "It's politics. And politics are all about playing dirty. You should know, Lady Hummel. Your squeaky clean campaign for class president is getting a good ol' fashioned country shellackin'. Your opponent, Brittany S. Pierce, is promising root beer water fountains and robot teachers. She even let it slip that one Rachel Berry is still on Myspace."

"That's ridiculous," Kurt scoffed. "Brittany's making promises she can't deliver on. It's lying!"

"Besides, no one is on Myspace," Adalynn added. "Not even Rachel."

"It doesn't matter," Sue said, leaning over with her hands on her desk. "Brittany's got their attention. Heck, even the twins are voting for her."

"They're babies, they can't vote!" Kurt snapped.

"Look, the point is, you're playing all nice campaigning for a salad bar in the cafeteria," the cheer coach said. "It's boring, it's tired, and it's not going to get you elected."

"He still has my vote," Adalynn shrugged, crossing her arms.

"Obesity is a huge problem at this school," said Kurt.

"Especially in the Glee Club," Sue said, pointing a finger. "Have a seat, Porcelain and Mini Porcelain," she said, motioning for the Hummel siblings to sit down. "You know why I fight dirty? Because I'm fighting for something. I have a cause, several actually."

"What are they?" Adalynn asked.

"I hate the arts... and a bunch of other stuff."

The younger girl stifled a laugh as Kurt elbowed her and shook his head 'no.'

"If you want to win, find yourself a cause, my friend," said Sue. "And then start flinging poo. Winning is really about poo flingin'."

"I refuse to believe that," Kurt said, standing up. "I agree that perhaps I need a better cause, but I'm going to win this thing without having to fling a single stinky nugget."

"And that's how Kurt..." Adalynn made a 'c' with her hand and smiled innocently as she stood up. "Sees it."

"Well, good luck with that, children of Burt 'Baboon Heart' Hummel," Sue said as the two teenagers left. Kurt turned and shot her a glare. "It's not personal."

****

The New Directions and the Troubletones walked in from opposite sides of the auditorium. Quinn smiled when she met Adalynn's gaze, and the younger girl waved the hand of Ava in her arms.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at their rival all-girl show choir.

"Shelby said she had something to show us," said Mercedes. "What are you doing here?"

"Mr. Schue said the same thing," said Finn.

"Let me guess, he wants to combine choirs for sectionals," Santana said with a roll of her eyes as she passed Maya off to Bailey. "Well, it's not gonna happen. The Troubletones are here to stay. So why don't you shuffle your busted choir off our stage and away from my god twins. I don't want your loserdom rubbing off on them."

"Ba," Maya agreed, waving an arm around as if to tell the New Directions to take a hike.

"See? Even the babies agree," Santana smirked. "So you guys can leave now."