𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐲 | q. fabray

Shooting Star

a/n - trigger warning for school shooting

"I hold in my hands, ladies and gentlemen, our competition for regionals," Mr. Schue said as everyone sat down on the stage in the auditorium. "Drumroll please," he said as a few students imitated a drumroll. "From North Central High School in Indianapolis, the Hoosierdaddies."

"That's very clever," Tina chuckled.

"Stupid," Adalynn mumbled under her breath as Ava giggled and waddled over to her.

"Hi Ada," the younger twin smiled as she crawled into her lap. "Hi, Titi."

"Cutie," Tina smiled, tapping Ava's nose.

"And from Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek, Michigan, the Nun Touchables," Mr. Schue continued as Jori furrowed her brows and exchanged a look with Artie.

"Wait, is that a convent?" Blaine asked.

"Now, guys, I like our chances against both these squads, but we still got a lot of work to do–"

"Mr. Schue, please stop talking," Brittany said as she walked into the auditorium. "I have an announcement. I regret to inform you... a deadly asteroid is headed our way."

"Wait, didn't we just go through this at Christmas?" Blaine asked as everyone exchanged a look.

"Yeah, and is it true that you and Fish Lips got married?" Adalynn frowned. "He's not marriage material. He's been sawing through all the OG New Directions girls."

"Shut up, Adalynn," Brittany said as the brunette scoffed in offense. "I'm naming this comet Tubbington-Bopp and it is headed straight for Lima."

"Wait, so is it an asteroid or a comet?" Artie asked.

"It's both."

"Wouldn't NASA know something about this?" Marley asked.

"We can't trust NASA," said Brittany. "I mean, last month a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bopp hit Russia with no warning."

"Oh, so now it's a meteor," Artie scoffed.

"That's right, Artie. And when this hits I will not be spending my time in this room preparing for regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with somebody who I need to get right with. Somebody who I love very much. Lord Tubbington," Brittany said as Sam frowned. "So, go back to your homes, hide your wife, hide your kids, and hide your wife. McKinley High, I salute you."

****

"I really surprised that Jesus Christ Superstar has chosen to end the world this way instead of the way he killed the dinosaurs, which was a global yeast infection," Brittany said as the New Directions sat in the choir room.

"So, if we're all gonna die anyway, does that mean I can go ahead and kill myself?" Adalynn asked as everyone looked at her strangely with a mix of concern and unamusement. "Man, tough crowd," she rolled her eyes. "It was a joke, lighten up."

"Do you think that God will let me be a girl angel in heaven?" Unique asked as she walked in.

"Wait, there are girl and boy angels?" Sam asked. "Does that mean you can have angel sex?"

"Alright, show of hands," Julian asked as he walked into the choir room with Finn and Mr. Schue. "Who is worried about Britt's meteor-asteroid-comet prediction?" he asked as several of the Glee Clubbers raised their hands, including Finn and himself.

"Okay, well, here's how I see it," Mr. Schue said as he looked around the group of teens. "There are two possible outcomes. First, the meteor misses us and we go to regionals, and we kick butt, which will only happen if we prepare. Or, we only have a few days to live. And if that's the case, we need to say everything we need to say to the people we love."