Way of No Return (Champions of the Crystal Book 8)

Chapter 3.3

Sabrina took a deep breath to steady herself before they went into Marie's sitting room, but the shock she had expected didn't come. Marie no longer looked like the girl Sabrina remembered, who dressed with flair and whose every movement was animated; she seemed more like a stranger, dressed plainly and sitting still. Her eyes did not light up at the sight of them, either, but her steady gaze was an improvement over the furtive glances Sabrina remembered from their last meeting, and a relief when she remembered the corpse-like stillness of Marie's body when she'd found her in the Kyan laboratory.

"Hi, Marie," Ford said softly. "I'm your brother Ford."

"Hi, Ford. Hi Sabrina," Marie said, after consulting the datapad on the table nearby, which displayed pictures of them from Sabrina's investiture. "Welcome home."

"Thank you," Sabrina said. "We're glad to see you. How are you?"

"I am well," Marie said, pronouncing her words slowly and carefully. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you," Ford said.

That seemed to be the extent of Marie's conversational skills. There was an awkward pause before Ford said, "You're going to have a niece, Marie. Her name will be Lilonwy, and we are also giving her your middle name."

Marie cocked her head, frowning slightly. Eshene said, "We have not yet been able to teach her much about biology. Or social relationships more complex than parents and siblings."

Sabrina tried a different tack. "We're going to have a little girl, Marie. Isn't that nice?"

"Yes," Marie said, glancing uncertainly at Eshene.

Sabrina thought of how the old Marie would have reacted and had to close her eyes and take a calming breath to keep her composure.

"What are you studying today?" Ford asked his sister after a moment.

"Colors," Marie said promptly. She began pointing at things around the room. "Blue. Brown. Green. Red."

"Good job," Ford said, a little too heartily.

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The visit did not last long. Sabrina felt guilty about being relieved to escape the awkwardness, but she comforted herself that Marie seemed equally relieved. They were silent as they made their way down to the lobby, and as Sabrina reached the door, she realized Ford was no longer beside her. He was slumped against the wall, his face in his hands. Sabrina retraced her steps, and Kendara and Stecklan moved away from them, facing in opposite directions and pretending to ignore them.

Sabrina waited a moment to see if Ford would speak, then said softly, "When you're the oldest child, you know it's your job to look after the younger one. Even if nobody ever tells you, you still know. It's instinctive. And it's terrible, unbearable, when you fail. I know. When I lost Scotty on Stanos, it was...it was like this. Oh God, it was just like this." She couldn't quite stifle the sob in her throat.

Ford rubbed at his face, then dropped his hands and leaned his head back against the wall, eyes closed. "I remember."

Sabrina swallowed hard. "And even though the outcome was everything we could have hoped for, every now and then, I'll say something and he'll give me this blank look, and I remember all over again that part of my brother is dead. It's never coming back. And it breaks my heart every damn time. So I can't tell you that it gets easier, or better. I wish I could."

"It's just such a sharding waste. She was so bright. She could have been anything, anything she wanted. And now she's proud she knows her colors," he choked.

Sabrina nodded, biting her lip. "I always thought she'd make a great guerrilla fighter," she reflected.

Ford gave a strangled laugh. "Yeah." He straightened up. "Unfortunately, we could use more of those nowadays."

"We are not giving up on Marie," Sabrina said. "We got Scotty back, almost entirely. I refuse to believe this is all we can have of Marie. I'll keep trying, and searching, and hoping." She held her hand out to him. "Are you with me?"

He clasped it firmly. "Always."

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Since they still had time before lunch, they went to visit the new greenhouse, where Sabrina had great difficulty fending off bouquets. The rosekeepers, who were her employees, would have gladly pushed as many blooms into her hands as she could carry. In the end, they had to settle for her tucking a particularly beautiful peace rose bloom behind her ear and promising to send for fresh arrangements next time she came up to Dansestari. The head rosekeeper showed them a few of the plants they had grown in pursuit of their latest hybrid tea rose, which, he assured them, should turn out to look like its petals were made of watergems. They had added the genes of a Praxatillian plant to add sparkle to the petals, but they hadn't yet gotten the iridescent colors right. Sabrina was impressed with what she saw, and said so.

"At least we made somebody happy today," Ford said as they left. "You've certainly left your mark on the biosphere, darling: first roses and now cats."

"The Praxatillians value them more than anybody on Earth ever did," Sabrina said. "Maybe for my next trick I'll import some endangered species, like snow leopards. They could live in the Nô Bahgheir mountains, I'll bet."

"Most of our larger mammals were killed off during the Xoentrol War," Ford mused. "We haven't had much luck replacing them. It's not a bad idea. When are you going to ask Baldaran to appoint us first ambassadors to Earth so we can open trade relations?"

Sabrina grinned. "Not until after Lily is born, at least! And I'm not qualified to make first contact. Let them at least get beyond the moon before we go drawing them into galactic affairs."

"You're behind the times, darling. Earth established their first colony on Mars just before we left. Khediva told me."

"I keep forgetting that present Earth is a hundred years more advanced than the one I left," Sabrina murmured. "I think of mine as the real one." That way I don't have to think of Aunt Euphrasia and everybody else as dead.

"Understandable," Ford said. "We'll have to look into how they're getting along when we have a moment. But first, let's set my brother straight."