Way of No Return (Champions of the Crystal Book 8)

Chapter 5: The Fog of War

Sabrina's first thought was of the baby. She moved a hand to her stomach and was relieved to find it still firm and full. With a sigh, she opened her eyes to find Ford sitting beside her infirmary bed. "Is she okay?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "And you will be, at least for now."

"What happened?"

"You can't use the Crystal, Sabrina. I thought we had agreed on that. What were you thinking?" he demanded.

She realized she must have terrified him unbearably for his fear to have mutated into anger while she was still in her sickbed. "I'm sorry. I am. And I won't do it again, believe me."

"It may not matter what you do," he muttered. "And I don't believe that anyway, Sabrina. The next time someone's in trouble or there's thousands of lives at stake because the secondary defenses aren't up, you'll do exactly the same thing, and we both know it."

Sabrina closed her eyes again, not feeling up to arguing with him. Sorry, baby, she thought to Lily. "They got the labor stopped?"

"Yes, though they had to sedate you both to do it. We got lucky—Lily seems to have come through it all right."

"How's Tirqwin?"

"Stable, they think. They took him down to Giandrah to see if they could get some more resonance in him."

"And Khediva?"

"Still no response. They're towing her to Shipyard Three. I'll go have a look at her when I have the chance."

"Ford, if the same thing happened to her, she could be in bad shape. She might need immediate help. You need to—"

"Stop it!" he snarled. "You're a fine one to tell me what I need to do. You nearly killed all three of us!"

Sabrina fought the impulse to burst into tears. It wasn't fair, she told herself, to add guilt to his fear when he was in the right. "I know I did. And I'm sorry. And I won't do it again, I swear to you. No matter who else dies. Because you and Lily are the ones I owe the most to."

"And never use my resonance without my permission again! You had no right to do that, Sabrina, none at all!"

"Yes, I know. And I won't." She wondered in dismay how long she had been unconscious. How many grievances had he had time to think up? She had no defense; she had let her love and fear for Tirqwin endanger the baby and Ford. No one, including Tirqwin himself, would have anything good to say about that. After a moment, she added the only things that mattered: "I'm sorry. I love you."

Ford seemed to deflate, hiding his face in his hands for a moment before leaning forward to lay his head on the pillow beside her. "Sabrina, the whole sharding galaxy is shattering around us. I need you and Lily. I can't see my way through this mess if I don't have you."

Sabrina looked at him, realizing that he wasn't just a frightened husband and father. He was also a man whose father was critically ill, whose mother was missing, and whose little sister had been damaged to the point of becoming a stranger. "You do have us," she said gently, twining her fingers with his. "You will have us."

"Sabrina," he said after a moment, his voice sounding thick, "the doctors think you're changing again. They don't know if you'll be able to carry to term."

"Wh-what? Why?" she managed after a moment of stricken silence.

"Maybe the Crystal wasn't finished with you. Maybe it just couldn't finish while we were in Homeworld space. Now it can, but there's Lily."

Sabrina stared at the ceiling, contemplating the future. Three months had seemed so little time when she was facing all the work that needed to be done at Bathir; now it seemed an eternity. "Is the baby viable?"

"It's risky, but they are pretty sure they can stabilize her if she's born now," Ford said. "And hopefully we have at least a little more time."

The thought of parting with Lily before it was time, sending her unready into a world at war, was like a stab through the heart. Ford gently wiped at her tears, then leaned down and kissed her forehead. "You couldn't have known," he said. "This might have happened even if you hadn't accessed the Crystal. And maybe, if we're very careful, she might be able to hang in there long enough."

"Do they want me to stay in bed? I will, but please, Ford, at Bathir, not here."

"No, not here. A little distance from the Crystal can only help. I don't know that they want you to stay in bed, but I think you should stay out of Dansestari and away from anything that might tempt you to use the Crystal."

Sabrina nodded miserably. Kendara stuck her head in the door, smiling at Sabrina when she saw her awake. "Your highnesses, Major Devon is here. He says it's urgent."

"Send him in, please," Sabrina said.

"Hey, Rina, you okay?" Scotty asked, giving her foot a gentle squeeze as he went to the head of her bed. "I heard what happened."

"Yes, but—" Sabrina couldn't finish, tears welling up in her eyes again.

Ford said, "We think the Crystal is working on Sabrina again."

"The baby?" Scotty asked, frowning in concern.

"We don't know. She's fine for now, but she may have to be born early."

"Aw, shit," Scotty said sympathetically. He looked back at his sister and took her free hand. "Hey, Rina, this kid's got to be at least as tough as either of you. And that's saying something. I have no doubt she'll come out kicking and screaming, run you ragged throughout her childhood, and lead a very misspent youth that will turn Ford's hair grey."

Sabrina gave a watery chuckle. Scotty grinned, then sobered. "I'm here on business, I'm afraid. Rina, will you be all right? I've asked Selémahs to come, and she's on her way. But Subcommander Rigeon's ordered me to take Ford up to Shipyard Three. Khediva's thrusters aren't firing and they aren't sure how to get her into dock without damaging her. They want us to go aboard and see what we can do, and also see what happened to her."

"Scotty," Ford protested.

Sabrina said, "You have to go, Ford. Scotty can't manage by himself, and Khediva could be in real trouble. Well, you know she is, just looking at Tirqwin. Please."

"I don't want to leave you," Ford said.

"I'll be fine. Kendara will look after me, and I'm sure Selémahs will be here soon. I'll let you know if anything happens."

"And I'll be too far away to do anything about it," Ford grumbled. But he got up, gave her a kiss, and gestured for Scotty to precede him to the door. "Am I taking Stecklan, or do you count as all the protection I need?"

Scotty shook his head. "We may need extra hands. We'll take him. Rina, we'll be back as soon as we can."

"Just fix Khediva," Sabrina said, waving them out of the room.