Motivation of Memories: The Second Book of the Labors of Love Series

Let Me Carry That

Genevieve's POV

After being pressured by everyone, I changed into something more like what I used to wear. I ended up throwing on some jeans and my favorite striped shirt. I'm sitting at my vanity trying to decide how far I want to take this recreation.

Stepping into the bathroom, I take my hair out of its ponytail. I put my head in the tub turning on the water and letting my hair soak it up. Once it's absorbed as much as it could, I throw conditioner in it forcing my tight coils to return. A quick rinse and some towel drying later, I'm left with wet shrunken hair. I take out my pick and the complimentary blow dryer and begin to pick out and dry my hair. My hair was much shorter back then and honestly I haven't seen my afro in a few months. A smile creeps across my face as I watch my hair begin to take up the large mirror in front of me.

Once I'm satisfied, I throw on my socks and sneakers before taking my spare shoelace and tying it around my wrist. I tuck my pick into my back pocket and walk out of the room.

"What took you so long?" Prince says his voice trailing off as he looks at me.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Alex smiles. "Ready to go?"

"Almost. I left something in the other room. Prince, will you let me in?"

"Sure. We'll meet y'all downstairs." I walk quietly beside him down the hall as our friends get on the elevator. He unlock his door and pushes it open, gesturing for me to walk inside. "What did you want to talk about, mama?" He says softly following me into the room, closing the door. I take a seat on the bed feeling nervous.

"H-how did you know I wanted to talk?"

"I know my woman. I also know when you go out you keep your lipstick, money and ID in your bra."

"I could've left it."

"Did you?" He asks sitting across from me in the chair at the desk.

"No." I sigh. My right arm crosses over my chest to hold my shoulder as I lean over allowing my elbows to rest in my knees.

"Talk to me, Genny. What's on your mind?"

"You and Alex know two very different versions of me and I... I wanted to tell you myself in case anything happens or is brought up."

"Tell me what? That you used to smoke reefer in the back of older boys cars? Or that you used to sneak out of the house to party and drink?"

"H-how did you know?"

"Your dad told me. He uhh... told me some other things too." My heart falls to the pit of my stomach as I come to understand his words. I look down at my feet unable to look at him anymore. "Genevieve, you don't have to feel ashamed."

"I just... I never wanted you to know the full story."

"Did you start partying before or after it happened?"

"Prince..."

"I just want to understand, baby. Whatever you're willing to share. I just want to know how you got here and what I can do."

"I-it started before but afterwards it got worse. It started as regular teenage rebellion but then it became a way to cope. I was uncomfortable in my body so I quit dance for a while." I pull my body closer hoping to find some comfort in my own arms.

"Is there anything Alex may expect from you tonight that you want to avoid?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Is there anything I expect from you that you don't want to do tonight?"

"No, I just want to have a good time."

"Are you sure you still want to go? We don't have to. Alex can show everyone a good time and we can hang out here. We can always go out tomorrow."

"No, I-I still w-want to go but I think I should stay in tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll get us some movies and we can stay in tomorrow." He breathes for a moment but I don't move as the thoughts and images swirl in my mind.

"Genevieve?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you need a moment before we go?" I nod softly. He kicks off his shoes before walking up to me. Kneeling down he removes mine before having a seat beside me. I can tell he's waiting for me to decide what to do. He doesn't want me to be scared or uncomfortable and I can appreciate that. I rest my head on his shoulder. His arm gently wraps around my waist and his hand caresses my side. Gently, he rests his head on mine and I close my eyes to savor the moment. "I'm sorry I brought this up. It's been weighing on me since he told me  I knew I had to tell you but I wasn't sure how."

"Y'all alright in there? Y'all better not be in there making out and shit."

"Genny babe, look at me." I look over at him with heavy eyes and a heavy heart. He lifts my head so I can't avoid his gaze, forcing me to notice his big green eyes. "You don't have to carry that pain anymore. We can talk it out, sing it out, cry it out, scream it out, whatever you need, but you have to let it out and let it go. I'll help however you want me to but, when we walk out the door, I want that to be the start of letting go."

"Okay." I say softly as a tear streams down my face. He smiles at me before wiping it away with his thumb.

"It might take a while but I'll be here for all of it."

For years, I've carried these secrets. I've carried the feelings of their hands and bodies pressed up against me. I carried the memories of their laughter and their disgusted looks. I carried the bruises from fighting their girlfriends after they lied and blamed me. It never occurred to me I could stop. It never occurred to me I could put it down and just walk away and here is someone willing to help me. My father tried but I wouldn't let him. Maybe Prince will help me take this pain away.