a sheep in wolf's clothing// remus

forever winter

Adeline woke with a pounding headache and a
lot of regret.

Why couldn't I have blacked out? At least then I'd be ignorant to what happened. But noooooo. Remus just had to cut me off and make me
drink water. Bitch.

Adeline pulled herself out of bed and got ready for the day. She couldn't have students knowing she was hungover. She did not in fact have a leftover hangover potion, so she put on a pair of sunglasses and went up to the Astronomy Tower with a cup of tea.

She looked across the ground as she sat on the ledge. And she let her mind run.

I tried to fuck Remus. But that doesn't mean anything. I was just horny. I hadn't had sex in like sixteen years, and the first time I did the guy ended up being a creep. It's perfectly natural for me to want to have sex with Remus after that. He was the first good experience I had sexually. Nothing to be ashamed of....Yeah keep telling yourself that. It's completely embarrassing and I don't know how I'm going to face him again. And on Sirius' fucking birthday too. Actually no Sirius would laugh. He wouldn't be upset. Unless he was still dating Remus in this theoretical situation. You know what it doesn't matter. He's still dead.

Shit but the kids saw me wasted. How are they supposed to still respect me when I was so sloppy? They won't. They'll run wild. Why the fuck did you get so drunk Adeline.

"Deep in thought?" A voice called out behind Adeline.

She nearly fell off the ledge in shock, but when she turned around she saw who it was. "What do you want?"

"You've been told I presume?" Dumbledore said as he took a seat next to her on the ledge.

"Told about what?"

"That I am going to die."

"You're going to die?" Adeline feigned shock but Dumbledore saw right through it.

"When have we ever lied to each other Miss Wilson?"

"On your end? A lot."

"Every lie has a semblance of truth."

"Mmm." Adeline agreed, "I'll admit I do lie on occasion."

"Everyone does. You and I aren't so different you know."

"You take that back."

"You once liked me Adeline." Dumbledore said sadly, "Since you are one of three people who know about my fate, I want to end on good terms."

"I don't think we can get back to good terms Albus." Adeline said shaking her head, "You've done too many unforgivable things."

"I want Voldemort dead. I want muggleborns like yourself to be safe."

"I know. I want that too. And I don't envy you. I don't think I could be in your position. I couldn't be the one deciding who gets to live and die. You killed Emmeline, Albus. I get it's for the greater good and that sacrifices need to be made to win. War is messy and tragic and I get all of that. But damn Albus. I'm just tired of it all."

"I'm tired too Adeline. It pains me every time I outlive a student."

"Says Mr. Philosopher's Stone."

"Losing people to natural causes is different than war."

"I used to think that too. Yet somehow I find myself missing Effie and Monty more than my friends sometimes."

"And why is that?"

Adeline's eyes began to tear up, "Because they took care of me." Her voice cracked as she spoke, "And I just want someone to hold me and say everything will be okay and that I'm doing a great job and that I'm strong and brave and tough and not worthless and I am deserving of love and that I will be happy again."