The kings death

Philps pov part 4

(Note from writer
TW suicidal thoughts and SH if you suffer from any thoughts of any kind please contact a loved one or emergency services if needed)
Philp had been looking night it was not a logo or symbol of any company's it's not any family crest from any Lindra family's around so where the hell did this come from he knew he had seen it before but he had no idea where Lisa leaves her room and sees philp already awake on the couch looking from some old books on Lindra history
Lisa: your up early
Philp: oh yeah I guess couldn't sleep
Lisa: wait so you have been awake all night
Philp: yeah not like I haven't before at least this time I am actually doing something instead of taking night watch and starring at nothing for hours
Lisa: well your not in the army right now so you don't need to stay up late you should get some rest
Philp: no can do princess I gotta find out who's been spying on you and theses books will help me pin point a potential lead
Lisa grabs the book from his hands
Lisa: yeah but not today they won't
Lisa places the book on a high shelf since of philps injured leg he can't reach to his full height so it will be hard for him to retrieve the book Lisa picks him up in her arms and Carrie's him to her room placing him on the bed covering him in the covers philp pulls the blanket off him and try's to leave but Lisa forces him back onto the bed he try's to leave aging so she gets in bed with him putting the covers over both of them and puts her arms around him cuddling him almost holding him in place
Philp: Lisa I got to do my job
Lisa: your job can wait it's nap time and I don't see Adam awake with breakfast yet so no reason for me to leave
Philp: I don't need sleep
Lisa: I want all my people to be on there a game especially if there gonna defend me
Philp: I'm fine if anything if you want me on my a game I got to stay up more and train
Lisa: you can train all you want but without energy it is useless and plus I thought you liked cuddling
Philp: not when it's forced upon me
Lisa: well too bad
Philp sighs frustrated he can't use his force on her he did not want to hurt her so the best choice here is to stay put he sighs well I suppose closeting his eyes for a quick second won't bother anything he thinks to himself he rests his eyes for a second and opened them he hears crying in the room a mother on all fours crying balling her eyes out
Mother: WHY WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME I DID NOTHING WRONG
Philp looks down at his hands they where covered in blood and on the floor two children on a little girl with a pink bow in her hair and a small dress looked like she was in her Sunday best ready to go to church this Sunday morning her eyes where lifeless and held a small doll in her hand her other arm cut off and was no where in philps line of sight blood oozing out her head looked like she was hit in the head extremely hard she had bruises along her neck her neck looked to be crushed in on itself almost like it could snap in half and a boy younger then the girl also in Sunday best his body badgered
And bruised his head across the room from his body his arm was twisted so violently he could see the bone start to pock out philp grabbed a gun and aimed it to the mothers head he had to finish the job
Philp: don't worry ma'am I'll bring you back to your family soon and please bring my sincerest apologies to the children of course you must understand a man's gotta do what he's gotta do
She looks up to him in fear and starts pleading to keep her life
Philp: hay look on the bright side you can finally talk to that god your always preaching to the world about
He shot the bullet straight through the head her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she fell to the floor he wakes up right after the flash of the gunshot he was back in Lisa's room but Lisa was nowhere in sight he could smell the scent of freshly cooked food Adam must of started making breakfast and Lisa followed the trail of food he falls back onto the pillow on the bed and thinks about everything that family only the father was meant to die did he really need to kill his whole family like that they had done nothing wrong just the look in the family photos showing such a perfect family just made something in him tick he I felt angry and just did what I felt was right wanted to ruin everything they had and the worst part he had enjoyed it he was a cruel human being he deserves not right in this world no life at all he had already Brock them by taking away their father but he had to just do more didn't he he was a vile killing monster who should not be let out into this world he could not help but despise who he was remembering of not just those two kids he killed but millions of more they had their whole life ahead of them and he took that away the memory of each face was dug deep into his skin like someone stabbed him in the chest a hundred times the more he thought about it the worst it got he shook it off the best he could but he felt pressure on himself stopping him from leaving the bed he felt almost trapped in himself he had this awful feeling dwelling up inside him a feeling he felt like he could never face Lisa came into the room
Lisa: philp your awake good come on let's get you some breakfast
Philp: I'm good I just.....I am not hungry
Lisa: hmmmm alright just come out when you feel ready
Lisa leaves the room he stayed there a few extra moments and then slowly forced himself out of bed his leg still hurt from the bare trap but felt stable enough to walk on now he was about to walk to where everyone else was when he felt a heavy pressure run through his body he did not deserve company or comfort he did not deserve to be alive in this moment he has ruined countless lives he looked around seeing blood start to drip down from the walls the ceiling stained with blood dripping onto his face and hands his eyes grew wide as he went to the closet bathroom to him and locked the door the same thing happened in there but there also laid a dead body on the floor a woman he had killed 4 years ago she just barely was proposed to by her soon to be wife but instead now load there dead on the floor this was the last day she was forced to be fighting in this war he had worked along side her when his captain told him to kill her he had no idea why but he had to get the job done she was a kind lady and wished to start her own clothing line but she died before she could do anything with her talent he wonder why she was there in this house what's her body doing here he could hear screams all around him bullets flying like he was back on the battlefield he closed his eyes trying to ignore what he was seeing covering his ears with his hands one of his past doctors told him this was normal for people who has seen these things at such a young age and that it was all in his head that his past may come back to haunt him every now and then he hated that thought of it never leaving these thoughts of people you harmed force to relive them almost like a cage you may never find the key to he opens his eyes and let his arms fall almost like accepting this fate maybe he deserved this for everyone's lives he ruined why not his as well he collapsed onto the floor he deserves all of this the constant nightmares the screaming in his ears he pulls out a knife out of his boot rolls up his sleeve and place the knife to his skin he deserves to suffer it slashed across him blood building up where the cut was he deserves to be hated he slashed at himself aging he deserves to die he cuts over and over and over till his whole arm was stained red with his own blood there was old cuts from when he did this before and some reopened when the blade slashed against it aging his blood pooling onto the floor that looked freshly cleaned he could not stop he felt like he had to keeping going over and over and over aging onto his arm