MISS MONEY MAKER, jamal turner

Looking Out

In the morning, at school, with a horrible hangover, I found myself in sunglasses, shorts that were bound to get me dress coded and a cropped t-shirt with a jacket on basically dragging myself around school.

While I'm coming outside, I see Vero and Monse fighting. "Damn itt!" I ran over. "MONSE! PUNCH HER!" I yell at her. "Can't do that right noww!" After the coach pushed passed the crowd, I sprinted, helping Jasmine go with me.

"Yeahh, I think I'm gonna split." I said to Jasmine who's catching her breath. "Where you going?"

"To relax somewhere." I kissed her cheek before waving and walking off. Before the final bell rang, I hopped the gate of the school and my phone rang annoying loud. I quickly answered it while walking away from the school.

"What?" I asked. "Woahh? Good afternoon to you too." Jamal talked from the other line. "Sorry. What's up?"

"Okay, first, I have to apologize. I was sooo naked in Cesar's bed with Monse this morning and I don't-" I cut him off by laughing a little. "Wha-What's funny?"

"You kept pissing yourself, that's why you were naked."

"Nooo, nooo! I WAS?"

"Yeah! You ain't know?"

"I don't remember anything from last night all I know is that I met Lil' Ricky and now I'm going to Chivo's house." I stopped walking and sighed. "Cool. I'll see you later. I'm kinda in the middle of something." I hung up quickly and continued walking.

Instead of going to Chivo's house like the others had planned to do after school, I went to the beach and sat in the sand, criss cross.

My fingers dragged along the sand in swirls while I looked down. "I feel so stupid." I mumbled and sighed. "Oscar... I know I shouldn't be skipping school right now but honestly it was needed." I started off.

"Mi sol, is what you usually called me. I got so used to only you calling me that. On the drive from Bakersfield back to Freeridge, Ray told me that was his nickname for me when i was a baby and you just adopted it..." I chuckled softly and looked at the water.

The sun in the far distance hit my eyes causing me to squint. The only noises around was the waves crashing into each other.

This is was an environment to just take in.

"When you asked me to come with you again and said Eres mi sol, I didn't fully believe you. I always had that back of the mind thought that like, no matter what, I'd always just be a half sister. I know you and Cesar didn't see me that way, but I always felt like it could've been a possibility."

I talked more, saying the words that I couldn't say the previous day before sprinkling his ashes.

"Oh, god, and you used make me so irritatedd when we would be places when you'd stop and talk cause like everyone always knew you like okay, Mr. Popularity. You made sure to let them know who I was, tho. Like 'oh there's my lil' princesa.' or 'I have mi sol with me.' with that grin... on your face-"

My blood ran cold as I began to feel goosebumps form on my body. I noticed a figure right in front of me. My eyes filled with tears and my lip quivered as I looked up.

It was Oscar, standing some feet in front of me, looking down at me with a small smile. "Eres mi sol." Flew passed my ear like a whisper.

I jumped and turned only to see nothing and then Oscar was gone again. I laid into the sand, my jacket covering my hair so sand didn't get into it.

I just stayed there, aware of every thought and every breath. Aware of the numbness going from my fingers to my arms. Aware of the sweat engulfing my body due to the sun and my dark jacket over my arms. Aware of the tears running down my cheeks as I stared up at the clouds until it was sundown. Then I stared at the stars. My thoughts ran constantly, on everything.