Chapter Thirty-Nine

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Coach Izaak, oh what a hottie.

Dustin

I pulled in the driveway and headed inside, i was going to the kitchen but stopped when i heard yelling "he's a fucking faggot i don't want him around the other boys to turn them, having one of those things as my child is enough, i don't even want him in the house anymore."

"So suddenly the son you have been gushing over and treating like a king, you want gone cause we found out he was gay, what is wrong with you, i can't believe you of all people would say something like that."

"I don't care what you can and can't believe just get him out my house!" i heard her footsteps coming out the kitchen she stopped and scowled at me before going upstairs.

My dad came out the kitchen calling her name only to stop an stare at me, he closed his eyes and sighed before looking at me "you heard all of that didn't you?" i nodded "i'm sorry but your mom just needs some time and i'm sure she'll come around."

I shook my head "i doubt it, she wants me out the house i'd say she already made up her mind." i turned and walked out the house getting in my car before driving off.

I turned the corner just as i felt a tear streak down my face, my mom just said that, was i really that disgusting to her that she would just throw me away? i pulled the car over and started sobbing, my own mom hated me, why was everything going so wrong with my life, why?

--

I ran around the track for what felt like the thousandth time, it was already dark and i had to turn on the flood lights so i could see what was going on, i stopped taking a gulp of my water, my life was crumbling before my eyes, i was trying so hard to keep it together, but it got harder by the second.

Everyone i loved was leaving me, first it was Nash and now it was my mom, how long would it be before they all left and i was alone? my mind flashed to what coach had told me earlier, her brother had gone through the same thing and his life got so bad that he tried to kill himself.

I sat down biting my lip, maybe it would be best for me to just end it while is still had some of my life left, so i could die knowing that not everything was ruined, i looked down at my wrist, maybe it would be better for me and everyone else if i died.

I jumped when i felt someone touch my shoulder and looked up to see coach Izaak, he sat next to me and gave me a weak smile " i know what you're thinking and no it wouldn't be better for everyone if you died, there are people that still love you and it would kill them to find out that you died, or worse to find you bleeding out and feeling there was nothing they could do."

"Let me tell you a story and i know you're going to think that it has nothing to do with you but it does and then you're going to wonder how this is going to help you, that is really for you to decide. Okay so as you know coach Vanessa is my wife and we've been married for nearly eight years, well when we were in her second year of marriage there was a car accident and both of her parents died leaving her seventeen year old brother Victor with us, so it took some time but he got over their death and soon got accustomed to living with us." he studied me for a bit before continuing.

"Anyways so one day we were sitting in front and he said he had something to tell us and he wasn't sure if he should cause he was afraid of what our reaction would be, but he decided he better tell us now than let us find out on our own, he paused for a bit took a deep breath and then told us he was gay and all i could do was shrug i mean what else was i supposed to do , but Vanessa said she was fine and she didn't mine, he was so happy and i was glad he was. But then a few weeks later he told us he was coming out in school and hope for the best of course we gave him the go ahead who were we to stop him?

"But that day he came home way too early and wouldn't tell us what happened but we assumed it was just something small between him and his friends, but a week later we found him crying in his room and he told us he was kicked off the team just for being gay, of course Vanessa wanted to go and talk to them but he asked her not to, so she didn't and a month passed and then another and everything seemed fine, but then one day we came home  to find  Victor in his room on the floor in a pool of his own blood, it was a complete shock to both of us but it hit Vanessa harder cause that was her baby brother the last family she had left besides me, it was the first time that i had seen Vanessa so broken, she cried for weeks and weeks even after he came out the hospital, we had come to find out that after he came out in school things had gotten bad, his friends had abandoned him, he started to get bullied and was constantly told things like he should kill himself and that nobody wants him around so eventually it got to him and he listened to everything and then that was that, so after he came out the hospital Vanessa  would spend all her time with him trying to make him feel like he was wanted and not like everyone hated him and he was better off dead, it took a lot from her and she wasn't the same after that day."

"She is always making sure that he is happy and pleased with the way his life is giving him everything he needs and wants, it's not an easy thing to go through and as much as  tried i couldn't help her, she finally had got back to herself but she still had this thing about her, that one day changed both of their lives."

"I mean sometimes she can't keep him happy and he slips back into his depression but she tries, it's like he's hanging off the edge of a cliff and she's the only thing that's keeping him from falling, but what i'm trying to say is there is someone that loves you and will miss you dearly if you kill yourself, so don't, just stay strong and try to hold on no matter how tough it gets, okay?" i nodded and he smiled at me "don't stay out too late." with that he got up and headed off the track.

I got up brushing off my joggers and running around the track, these people talk like they know, i understand he's seen it happen but it wasn't like he's felt it happen, so what he just told me was easier said than done, but maybe he was right, i should find someone that i new loved me, maybe it could be him.






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