New To This (boyxboy)

Chapter Fifty-Seven

"Dustin Norton, Dustin Norton kindly come to the principals office."

My head had snapped up from the book I was writing my notes in when the sound of my name filled the halls and classrooms, I scrunched up my brow wondering why in the hell the principal would want to see me, unless... I gritted my teeth and stood up quickly grabbing all my stuff and heading out the class as I ignored the curious stares from my classmates, I walked into the clear hall, the sound of my footsteps echoing through it and I could feel myself tensing at the memory of what happened with Nash when I had came out here by myself last week.

I shook the thought out of my head and just focused on the fact that I was angry, I was really pissed that, that stupid coach of mine couldn't mind her own business no she had to go and bring the principal into it, I mean what was she going to do stick me in counseling? but it wouldn't matter any way because no matter if they got someone to talk to me I wouldn't let them change my mind, I knew what needed to be done and I wasn't gonna let some stranger who was paid to care stop me.

I passed the secretary and went to the office, I knocked quickly and when someone said to come in I began bracing myself to see coach, but when the door opened I saw my dad and let out a sigh of relief, he gave me a nod and I looked him up and down before I walked in and closed the door behind me, he was standing near the principals desk in black slacks. black working shirt and a jacket, he had most likely tossed his tie somewhere in his car, I looked from him to the principal who signaled for me to sit down.

She stood up and she was standing tall in white stilettos that matched her skirt suit and he hair was pulled up in an impeccable bun her lips were the only red thing on her "Good afternoon Dustin how are you?" I said nothing to her just stared into her eyes and she nodded as if I had just answered her question "well that's okay, anyway your father has requested that you have three weeks off and seeing that we are close to a school break I decided to grant you this, so enjoy yourself and I'll see after the school break."

I just nodded trying to bite back against telling her that she wouldn't see me after break, but she didn't need to know that, no one did. I stood up and followed my dad out of the office after they exchanged pleasantries, my dad was quiet as we headed out into the parking lot, I looked to see he had a small smile on his face as if he was content with how everything turned out and that had my heart pounding, would he really be happy after I was gone or would I cause him more pain, I didn't realize I had stopped walking and was staring into pace until he clicked his fingers in front of my face and tilted his head a little so he could look into my eyes.

"Are you okay Dus, you seem out of it." I nodded while forcing a smile, he seemed like he didn't really believe me but relaxed anyway and nodded "okay, well we should get going, I can go home and change and then we'll meet up later to plan everything okay?" I nodded and he smiled brighter before we headed to our different cars.

I pulled off from school with one thing on my mind, in three weeks everything would be better, better for everyone.

---

It was a few days later, me and my dad stood outside of the house I used to call my home, packing all the things we needed in his black, white rimmed FJ Cruiser that he had bought just for our trip, he was making some awful jokes that made me laugh for some reason because most of them weren't even slightly funny, maybe it was the feeling of nostalgia, we used to be like this all the time before I made the mistake of trusting someone to keep one of my most dearest secrets, but I wouldn't do that again, even if I ever thought I could I wouldn't give myself a chance.

I could feel eyes on me as I moved around, I was trying my best to ignore them as I moved around because I didn't want to deal with more than I was already dealing with, but stupidity got the best of me and I looked up to the front door where my mother was standing, to say she looked angry would be an understatement, just the way she looked at me made me feel as if I had just been stabbed and I found myself releasing a sharp breath, I shut my eyes and opened them back hoping that maybe I was just seeing her anger and when I opened my eyes after a long time she would actually be smiling at me with love in her eyes just like old times, how stupid could I be.

I opened my eyes and she still stood there in a yellow flower patterned dress, white shall and her white pumps, her hair pulled into one with a white ribbon and her deadly grey eyes were still glaring me down as if I had just committed the greatest sin and I should be locked away for it "Dustin?" I snapped out of looking at her only to face my dad, who's eyes widened and he rushed to me pulling me into a fierce hug, I had no idea why until I found myself letting out a sniffle and then I could feel warm tears running down my face, my dad moved his hand and placed it on my head as he used the other to rub my back up and down "shh it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here." I let out a painful sob and pressed my face against his neck as I let out another sob,

I could feel my body start to shake and the next thing I knew I was apologizing "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't mean to make her hate me, I didn't mean for everyone to find out, they weren't supposed to know, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." I let out another sobbing and soon I was full out balling unable to control it, I wanted to get control of myself, I wanted it to stop, but I couldn't restrain it, I couldn't close my flood gates and soon me and my dad were sinking to our knee's and I heard him let out a weird sound of concern.

"Shh, hey it's okay, it's not your fault, okay it's not your fault that they are like that, people only hate what they can't understand what they are afraid of, they-"

I cut him off "But I don't want her to not understand me, I don't want her to be afraid of me I want my mom back, I want her to love me, why won't she love me, is it because I'm dirty, I'm pathetic, I'm sorry I didn't want to like boys, I wanted to like girls, I wanted to make everyone happy, but I couldn't stop the feelings I just wanted to feel what everyone else did, I'm sorry for wanting that, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have wanted that!" I sobbed into his chest as he tried to calm me down but I could stop "I'm pathetic, I'm disgusting, I'm so sorry Daddy, please tell mommy I'm sorry, please make her forgive me, please, I don't want her to hate me anymore, I can't take it, daddy I don't know what to do!"

"Hey baby boy, it is not your fault, please stop crying, I don't want you to cry, I don't want you to feel hurt, you are not pathetic, you are not disgusting Dustin, you are beautiful, you are smart and you deserve to be happy you,deserve to feel love like everyone has you only deserve the best, because my baby boy you are the best." he held me tight talking into my ear as I let out sob after sob with my body shaking, I gripped onto him as tight as I could hoping that he too didn't hate me.

"No I don't, I don't deserve any of that, I deserve what Nash did, I deserve what mom is feeling towards me I deserve everything I'm getting because of everything I did, daddy I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't deserve any of that."

The next thing I felt was someone hugging me from behind, I looked back to see it was my sister, she was sobbing into my shoulder and holding me as tight as her hands would allow her to, I felt a sharp pain in my chest "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for everything, I'll make it better, I swear I will."