New To This (boyxboy)

Chapter Sixty

We finally pulled up to the campsite a day later, I jumped out the jeep and slipped on my boots before going to the back of the jeep and grabbing the stuff to set up camp, I looked over at my dad who was already by the clearing where we would set up the tents, he moved around kicking brinks and pushing leaves and whatever else he had to out of the way, he turned a little and I could see a smile on hi face, it was amazing that the littlest things could bring him happiness, but it would take forever for me to feel just the slightest drop joy and sometimes no matter how I wanted it to, it would never come.

I hadn't realized how long I was staring until my dad was no longer in the clearing but standing next to me, he placed his hand on my shoulder and I jumped nearly dropping the bag I had grabbed from the jeep, he gave me a concerned look but before he could speak, I nodded and grabbed another bag, before walking to the clearing, the jeep wasn't parked far so in case of anything we could get to it, my dad was so happy but there was no stopping his paranoia when it came to his children, he seemed dejected as he grabbed the bags and we began setting up the camp.

I unpacked the tent and started working on it as my dad went to gather some wood and rocks so we could start the fire, by the time I finished setting up the tent that could hold four people my dad had already made enough trips, to collect stones forming them into a circle and then sticks, and dried grass which he set up like a bon fire, there were so many sticks we were able to make two more piles to keep the fire going, when everything was set up we grabbed a bag that held our swimming stuff and our things so we could bathe.

We headed out the clearing going down a stone path that I remembered building with him the last time I was here, so whenever we needed to bathe or swim we didn't end up lost, after walking a few minutes we came up to this big clear pool like thing that flowed into the river, the water wasn't blue or brown, it was just clear, I took a deep breath before I begun to strip off my clothes, soon I was just in my boxers and walked over sliding into the water, hissing because of how cold it was, I was going to warn my dad when I heard yell and then there was a huge splash making me yelp and move back.

My dad quickly surfaced with a shriek and swam back to the edge, he got out the water and held his arms around himself as he shivered, I watched him and all of a sudden I found myself laughing, he furiously ran his hands up and down his arms trying to get his warmth back, I laughed as he finally gave up and went to the bag grabbing his towel and wrapping himself out, when he got his warmth back he turned and glared at me "why didn't you warn me?" he asked with his teeth shattering making me let out a short chuckle.

"I was going to when you just ran and dived in, it isn't my fault you couldn't wait." he rolled his eyes and I did the same before I started to go to the deeper end when my body got accustomed to the cold, I swam out to the center and turned on my back, I ran my had over the water keeping myself a float as I looked up at the sky, it was so bright and beautiful, barely any clouds but the ones that were there were white.

I heard humming and saw my dad swimming around in the water as he hummed something, that was particularly cheery, he was happy and excited, the sky was bright, the leaves of the trees flowed in the gentle breeze, I could hear birds singing their own songs and fish were tickling my feet, everything was so happy the only person that wasn't able to feel like that, was me and it just made me feel numb.

Jax

I ran through my hair as I walked out the motel room, I looked back and saw that Brysen was curled up in the blankets next to Becky, who was hanging off the bed making me huff, Caspian was sleeping in the next bed, in fact he didn't even look like he was asleep, he had his same serious look he always wore and his arms were folded over his chest, but his eyes were closed, I rolled my eyes and saw that everyone else was fast asleep, before I pulled the door shut and went to the banister, looking at the morning sky, as the sun began to come up.

It was so beautiful and would make anyone smile, but not me, I was too worried to smile at the bright sky, I was even too worried to sleep and the only way I fell asleep last night was because Becky gave me a sleeping pill that knocked me out in seconds. I dug in to my pocket pulling out my lighter and a half empty pack of cigarettes, I put on in my mouth and quickly lit it, I sat down on the banister and looked at the empty parking lot that had nothing but our bikes parked in it, I let out a puff of smoke and sighed running my hand through my hair.

I was constantly doing that, another one of Dustin's habits that I managed to pick up, a long with chewing on my lip and out of no where my leg would start jigging up and down, he had a lot of  different quirks that always have me cooing at him because he looked so cute, well I would do it internally, if I did it in the opening he'd probably punch my lights out. I rolled my eyes, he was this tough guy that could look so cute one minute and then Satan when someone got on his nerves, he was overly bipolar, having constant change of moods, but I found it cute and then the way his nose crinkles when he's upset and the way he arches his brow or tilts his head when something interest him, and when we were in class taking notes he would unconsciously pull on his ear lobe, while he chewed on his lip.

All those different things and and many more made Dustin who he was, someone I wanted to give all my love to, to hold and protect for as long as we live but all I get to do is miss him, it's like someone decided to just make his life a living hell, not caring what he was already going through, he was trying so hard to keep going, but it got too much and no he was looking for a way out and for him there was only one way that could happen, a way if any one found out about it they would do everything in their power to stop it.

I want to stop it with everything in me, but with the way everything was going it was as if it was meant to be, I didn't want to loose him like I lost almost everyone else in my family, the only family member I had surviving was Brysen, my aunts only son, she had passed away one year after getting me back from the system and ever sine Brysen has looked after me, I tried to make my circle of friends bigger but it always turned out that only few were truly interested in being my friends the rest only hung around me because they found out about the fortune my aunt had left in Brysen's and my name, I even tried dating a few times.

That's how I found out that it was rare to find a girl who really wants to date someone for the sake of being with them and not because of what they had, so it's safe to say that most of the girls I dated were vindictive bitches with ulterior motives, there was only one girl who was with me because she like me, Tia a caramel girl from the Dominica that had moved to England with her twin sister Lisa and her mom, she was sweet, wasn't always up under me and she gave the best advice and if she couldn't think of anything she'd take me to her mom, who always made sure to help me out, but sadly she moved back home for a couple of months to see her family and by the time she had moved back I was already over here, we still talked when we could and I was happy she found someone else, just as she was happy I had found Dustin.

I had told her all about him and she went crazy when she found out it was a guy, saying stuff like she shipped us and always cooing when I told her about him, she said she could feel that we were meant to be with each other, but then she got weird telling me I need to protect him from everything around him and himself, I didn't get what she meant then, but I knew now and I really had to find him.