You sat peacefully at the foot of the TARDIS door. Watching in fascination as swirling aether curled and folded against the black canvas of outer space. Your lips parted as you took in a slow and even breath. To see cosmic energy grow and expand and then collapse in on itself. It was breathtaking.
You never would have imagined being one of the first people to see such a thing. To watch the death of a star so close with nothing but the TARDIS's shields to protect you from the airless expanse of space.
Just the thought of leaving your hometown would have boggled your mind a few months ago. But when the Doctor had found you and taken you in, dozens of doors had opened up for you. Including this one, where you had been given the opportunity to observe a star's passing with your own eyes.
The wooden platform of the TARDIS creaked at his added weight but soon grew quiet as the Doctor settled beside you. (E/c) eyes remained glued forward even as said alien's knee brushed up against your own. It wasn't until he spoke and broke the comfortable silence that your eyes flitted over to lock gazes with his beautiful brown ones.
"Beautiful isn't it?" The Doctor smiled softly as he swung his legs out over the edge of the doorway. "The death of a star. Most people think of it as the tragic death of a noble and powerful body, but really it is so much more beautiful than that."
You turn your head back with a smile to watch the expelling energy of the star as the Doctor continued speaking.
"It's the beginning of so many things. Once the star collapses in on itself and becomes the supernova you're seeing right now, all that energy gets catapulted through space and across galaxies. And once that energy settles and becomes matter it's reused. It might become a planet, another star, even a living being. Because no matter how many stars die, new life comes out from it. Life always wins."
The Doctor didn't realize when you had shuffled closer to him or when you had rested your head on his shoulder. He had been so lost in his brief and remedial explanations on the machinations of matter and energy that he didn't even register your hand overlapping his. It wasn't until you asked him to tell you more about the stars that he had realized the closeness in proximity the two of you shared.
And as the Doctor continued to explain in full detail the events that led up to the creation of nebulae, quasars, black matter, and the physics of black holes your hands switched positions. With bated breath you listened to the level and light tone of his voice as his hand placed itself atop yours and his thumb brushed rhythmically against your knuckles. His head soon found its place upon your hair and your head nestled between the crook of his neck and shoulder.
"And you, you are just as rare and fascinating as this and every other galaxy. If you only knew the chance you had to see this, you'd know just how close to impossible it was. But still you managed to grasp that 0.0000000000001 chance in even existing. Imagine that!
"There was a 99.9999999999999 percent chance of you not existing, but look at you! Here you are, seeing something that billions of billions of people could only imagine seeing up close. But still you went even further. You managed to see it up close and personal with the last Timelord in the last TARDIS. Can you imagine the chance of that!
"You, ______ ______, are one of a kind and the universe can attest for that."
With a giddy smile you flicker your eyes up to look at him.
"Is that what you tell every girl you pick up?"
The Doctor chuckled in response, "only the special ones."
~~~~~~~~~~~
You sigh bitterly as you leaned against the TARDIS doorway staring out into the inky blackness of space. A bright star floated before you.
"Only the special ones... I'm not exactly special though, am I? You've had dozens of others just like me come along..."
You shake your head as you think back what had happened only a few short hours ago.
The Doctor had faced his fate. The two of you went back to Earth. An old man called Wilfred Mott had found the two of you through his network of eccentric and nosey old person's network and had asked the Doctor to help his granddaughter. Make her remember just how special she was.
Special... Was that really special? To experience everything the universe had to offer and then have it ripped away from you because of a mistake someone else had made. Because some beanstalk of a man couldn't put his severed hand away in a cupboard.
You grimaced at the thought of that poor woman, Donna Noble, afraid and burning on the inside while surrounded by hundreds of copies of the same psychopath.
And then, oh, and then Gallifrey had to come back. The Doctor's world had to crawl out of the depths of its own Hell and fury and try to claw it's way through to this dimension.You had watched on from behind the glass door you and Wilf had trapped yourselves behind as the Doctor was faced with the horrible choice.
To doom his childhood friend and Earth for his formerly dead planet. Or to once again destroy Gallifrey for the mess of a planet Earth had been reduced to.
Your heart had ached in your chest as the Doctor battled with himself.
And once it was over, once the Doctor had damned his home to death once again, he lay in a pile of rubble marveling the fact that that he was in fact alive.
Wilf had knocked four times much to yours and the Doctor's horror. And no matter how much you and Wilf pleaded and begged the Doctor to leave the both of you, he still made the final sacrifice. He released the two of you and exposed his already weakened and battered body to the rolling waves of radiation that coursed throughout the chamber.
You shuddered, remembering the pained screams of the Doctor. The screams of a man that had lost so much... a man whose only wish was to die in agony because he truly believed that he deserved it.
But no, fate was even more cruel. He had lived, and with you having him lean on you for support you dragged him back into the TARDIS. And as the merciful creature she was, she allowed him a final gift before the man he was burned away and another sauntered in to take his place.
He made you wait inside the TARDIS. You just sat there and waited as he gave his latest companions a final goodbye. And you pleaded and wished upon the universe to let him live.
To not let him leave you like he had done to every other 0.0000000000001 chance that had walked through the same blue double doors that you yourself had gone through.
But no. The universe was no kinder to you than it was to the Doctor.
With a final goodbye, the Doctor that you had known and even grown to love melted away in a burst of regeneration energy and left you alone with the stranger waltzing through the console room. He left you with a man who had barely acknowledged you the past several hours just for the sake of skipping throughout the TARDIS's new and, according to him, "sexy" console room.
You raked your fingers through your hair and sank down to the ground. Now what? You had left your boring and mundane life over a year ago. You couldn't imagine going back to that, a normal life.
You couldn't even remember what normal was.
You chuckled bitterly. You weren't even sure if you would make it anywhere near the time you had left. This man had already mucked up meeting up with Amelia Pond by twelve years. Who's to say he wouldn't do the same thing again?
You groaned as you dragged your hands down your face, not even hearing the floor beside you creak or feeling a sudden warmth settle next to you.
"Cuppa?"
You almost flinch at the unfamiliar voice. It wasn't the same light carefree voice you had warmed up to. No this one was foreign to you and much younger than the previous.
"Huh? Oh..." You glanced down at the two steaming cups in his hands. One was black tea while the other glowed a strange shade of green.
Regardless of how weird it looked or the lack of smell emitting from it, you took it from his hand and dipped your head in a silent thank you refusing to make eye contact. The gesture, however, didn't go unnoticed and the Doctor frowned at being deprived of making eye contact with you.
You were the only constant in his life now. To have you ignore him was enough to break his hearts. Nonetheless he forced a goofy smile, apparently it was the best this face could manage at the moment, and observed the spectrum of expressions that flashed across your face. It ranged from confusion to brief disgust to curiosity as you peered into the teacup you held between your hands.
"It's a special blend," he explained. "One of a kind, really. I couldn't remember what you're favorite was, my mind is still relearning some things, so I made this one. It's a tea from the Omega Adestria, designed to adapt to the palette of every person that drinks it.
"Somehow, it's able to change smell and taste so that whoever drinks smells and tastes there favorite tea whether it's Chai, Earl Grey, even that American one, what was it called again? Oh, yes! Sweetened iced tea, there we go."
Nodding silently, you take a small sip. Huh, he was right. It tasted and smelled just like your favorite. It changed.
An awkward silence settled as the two of you sat at the edge of the TARDIS. You staring out and the Doctor staring at you, silently hoping that you'd spare him at least one glance.
You shift uncomfortably, moving your leg away from his but not without noticing the sudden lack of familiar yet unfamiliar warmth.
"Have I ever told you about the legend of the Moon Layer?"
You blink and furrow your eyebrows. What kind of an ice breaker was that?
You shake your head in response, hoping that he'd leave it at that and get the hint that you needed some space, but no such luck.
"According to legend, there is a planet with a moon that in reality is an egg. But not just any egg, it's the egg of one of the rarest species in the universe. It's actually looks very similar to what you humans called dragons but humongous." He waved his hands around to illustrate his point. Talking with his hands, a new quirk he would have to get used to.
"Once it hatches after millions and millions of years of growing and maturing, it lays a new egg. Identical in every way. But that's only the tip of the iceberg because once the original dies–," his voice caught in his throat. Clearing his throat he continued.
"...Once the original dies, it transmits all its wisdom, all its memories into the new one so that once it hatches it can live in place of the original."
Setting the teacup beside you, you shake your head, "I really do hope you're not trying to get through to me with a metaphor."
"That depends," he made a quirky smile. "Is it working?"
"Not really."
A glimmer of sadness shone in his eyes, unnoticed by you.
"Weeell, it's only a matter of time before you warm up to me. After all, you are–"
You turn your head sharply at him, eyes flashing angrily.
"You're trying so hard to talk like him but really all you're doing is pissing me off. You are not him. You are nothing like him, so quit it!"
It hit him like a slap to the face and you knew it. You instantly regretted the words that had come out from your mouth as your eyes finally made contact with his. His new green eyes looked broken. Hurt was more than evident on his features.
You looked back down at your hands, curling your fingers on your lap.
"Please, just.... just stop pretending that things will be the same." You exhaled heavily, bowing your head. "Times have changed... and so have you."
"...I haven't changed, ______."
You chuckle bitterly in response, shaking your head.
"Yeah? Prove it."
Challenging (e/c) eyes met sorrowful green ones.
He held his hand out expectantly. You stared down at it then back up at him. He nodded his head and you sighed, placing your hand in his larger one. Grabbing your wrist, he guided your palm to the left side of his chest.
And then you felt it, the strong beating of a heart. Your own lept into your throat as he moved your hand to the lower right of his chest. There it was, his other heart, the other heartbeat. The twin heartbeat that you had long since memorized pulsed inside him and through you.
Pulling your hand away and intertwining your fingers with his, the Doctor leaned down to level his eyes with yours. He smiled sadly as tears began to prick the corners of your eyes.
"I know that this is hard for you, it always is. But I'm the same man. Yes, my face is different and I have a couple new quirks, but I'm still me. I'm still the Doctor that cares about you."
He pressed the palm of his free hand to the side of your face. You hadn't even noticed until you leaned into his touch. Searching your eyes desperately for any indication that what he was saying was in fact the right thing to say, he continued speaking in that hushed and deeply accented tone that he had always used when he had something important to say.
"This is my last regeneration, my last chance of living. It would be my honor to spend it with you for as long as I can."
You hadn't given him a spoken response. Instead you hugged him tightly, pressing your ear to his chest to hear the thumping of his hearts. But it was enough for him. It was enough for the Doctor.
Pressing a kiss to your hair, the Doctor looked up and gazed fondly at the new star that would one day become to supernova the two of you had watched so long ago.
