Bella's Babe

15) More Part I

This happened after Edward Left bella.

Bellice pairing!!
What? I love them!!

Time moves on, whether you want it or not. Pain, every kind of pain, even the most excruciating fades away when you just wait long enough. You either die or you survive. That's what's I've done after he left me. I survived. There is little memory I have over the first months after Edward disappeared.

Most of the time I spent in my room, waiting for him to return to me, although I knew it wouldn't happen. Charlie got so worried that he alarmed Renee who showed up in Forks and made an awful scene. She insisted I needed some professional help to deal with the loss. That was the final moment it clicked inside me. I didn't want to talk to a shrink. Counseling is bullshit when there's no way you can be open to your therapist.

What do they do with people who believe they've been in contact with vampires? No, I really didn't want to find out.

So, instead of opening my heart to some head shrink, I forced myself to fake some façade of normality.

I went to school, every single day and spent the afternoons studying like a nerd in my bedroom. On Saturdays I went out shopping to Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela although I found it terribly boring. Shopping trips reminded me of Alice and that only made me sadder in a consequence. I felt pathetic for sending her emails that would only return undelivered. Like her brother, she had let me down. People don't do that to the ones they love. But on the other hand, the Cullen weren't exactly human, right?

Secretly I still waited for Edward to return. He had to return, right? He had claimed to love me. If he loved me, he'd miss me. If he missed, he would return.

Of course, that was wishful thinking. After a couple of months I realized he wasn't coming back. I had to move on or I would die. I didn't want to die. I didn't know how to live either. The entire time, I had been with Edward, he had been the center of my universe. Now, that I had to handle everything by myself, it was frightening somehow.

On the day of my graduation, my parents surprised me with a brand new car. I couldn't believe they would spend so much money on a present. Mom explained that we had inherited a gracious amount of money from a deceased aunt. It was thanks to this aunt, some Mary who was the second cousin of a second cousin or something like that. Thanks to this Aunt Mary, I had unexpectedly enough money to afford an Ivy League college.

Finally, after months of months of basking in depressions, I had something to look forward to. College would be good for me. A new place where nothing would remember me of him sounded pretty close to paradise to me.

The night before I headed off for Dartmouth, I didn't manage to sleep a single minute. I was way too agitated.

During the long drive, I slurped down latte after latte to keep myself awake. When I eventually arrived on Campus it was already late afternoon.

I managed to run into a bunch of sorority bitches who reminded me instantly of a younger version of the Stepford wives. I was glad when I managed to get my schedule and the keys to my room.

Now, as an only child I had never had to share my room with someone else before. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about this. Privacy was important to me. I liked to keep to myself often enough.

My roommate, a Mary A. Brandon, had obviously already arrived earlier and claimed her side of the room. She had replaced the narrow metal-framed dorm bed by a queen-sized one with an orange-colored bedcover. Her desk had the newest version of a macbook on it. Next to it was a mirror, crowded with several tubes and bottles of make-up stuff.