Drama Queen (Kurt Cobain)

79

"It's lovely outside." River came in and smiled. He shut the door behind him closing off the chaos from the hospital.
"Too bad I can't see it." I sighed. He pulled at the strings that held the blinds shut and opened them. It overlooked Seattle,it wasn't all that pretty to a local. But if you were injured on vacation, I'd assume that it would be just perfect. River sat beside me in the chair that Kurt had slept in the night prior.
"I know." He said as he sympathetically grabbed my hand and kissing it gently.

"I'm sorry about telling Kurt. It was bothering me." He said. I shrugged a bit.
"I understand." His eyes shut tightly as he fiddled with his hands, removing the dirt from beneath his fingernails
"Kurt's not going to divorce you." He said. Things were going so well. Too well. Someone must have made a mistake. He sat comfortably with me, like we were sitting on a couch together, on a Saturday morning, watching television.
"Am I in a coma? Am I dreaming? Is this heaven? Am I dead?" I asked River suddenly confused.

"Ruby this is very much real life." He smiled. He sighed quietly.
"I'm going to make you decide." He spoke.
"On?" I asked quietly.
"Is it me or Kurt. I'd love to be with you but I feel too strongly for you to stay by while you ruin yourself." He said. I looked down. He squeezed my hand lightly.
"He's destroying you." He said quietly.

River was wrong, I wasn't being ruined. Kurt was trying to get better. River wasn't even trying.

"Do you want to be with me or not?" He asked. My eyes shut gently.
"Can I think about it?" I asked.
"I'm not going to be strung along. I'm sick of that." He said.

"If you can't wait a few days until I'm out of the hospital then I have an answer." I said coldly.
"No I didn't mean it like that." He sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes shut, jaw clenched, his blueish green eyes stared into my soul after he had opened them. He took a deep breath. His gentle hands moved slowly towards me, they settled on my hips.
"That seemed so selfish." He looked over at me, then training his eyes on his hands.
"I agree." I said coldly. His hands slowly moved away from my body and his gaze lowered to the tile floor. I heard his footsteps and then saw him at the door. A skinny finger was pushed into the pocket of his jeans.

"I love you alright? Try to feel better." He said quietly as he placed two fingers over the push down door knob.
"You too rio."

shakedown, (19)79