Drama Queen (Kurt Cobain)

91

"Tell us about Kurt." One of the guys prodded.
"I heard you knew River Phoenix, he's a total babe!" Jeremy's boyfriend said, earning a playful nudge from Jeremy.

"Kurt's just like you or me." I said quietly.
"Oh I doubt that!" Another person said.

"What's he like in bed? He gives off the gentle vibe to me, but you never know." A girl asked raising her eyebrow. I didn't comment.

I was a bit creeped out.

"I should be getting home." Jeremy said checking his watch.
"Want me to walk you back to your place?" He asked me.
"If you know where it is." I smiled.

I sure didn't know.

He grabbed his coat and kissed his boyfriend goodbye. We were once again crunching through the snow. We stayed quiet as he lead me back to my home. Once we approached the wall, he gave me a hug and then headed off to his home for Christmas. Christmas Eve without Kurt. I sadly unlocked the gate, there were codes of security, metal fencing, the chirps that sounded at arrival. The earth sunk below my shoes once I had broke the separation between world and womb.

Between destruction and growth.

But maybe, the destruction was within the home.

Then I looked down to what my feet sunk into.

fresh foot steps, larger than my own.

Small diamonds.

They were converse.

They were the shoes Kurt was wearing when he abandoned me, when he left me at home to worry.

Those footsteps were pointing to the house.

And they stopped at the door.

I hurriedly unlocked the front door, I opened it.

Snow had been stomped off shoes, and the shoes were lying to the side.

The shoes were Kurt's.

I did the same, kicked off the snow, shut the door behind me, allowing in no more cold air. I hurried into our living room.

He wasn't there.

I walked quietly upstairs and peered into our bedroom.

Kurt stood at the side of our bed with a suitcase, filling it with his belongings.

"Hey..." I said quietly. His jaw was clenched, it was obvious he hadn't shaven in the time he was gone.

"If it's what you want..." He started, not looking at me.
"I'll leave you." He said.
"I'm still going to pay for the bills and house and I'm going to take care of you, but if you don't want to be with me you don't have to. " he said quietly. He didn't look up. I neared him carefully and slipped off the rings that joined us, I grabbed his hand, outstretched his palm and dropped them into it. He closed his fingers.
"I love you, but I want you happy." He said.