Forever

Time To Say Goodbye

Me and Nathan celebrated out one year wedding anniversary 2 months ago. I have my audition for the xfactor in two weeks. Nathan a leaving today and is been deployed to Afghanistan with immediate affect. He said he'll be gone for 2 months. That's two months too long.

"Say bye to daddy." I say as I hold Lily up.

Lily giggles and Nathan givers her a kiss. He then gives me a kiss and a hug. I advised him to leave quickly so I wouldn't get too emotional. Now that Nathan is gone, I sit Lily at the kitchen island and be find to make cookie.

"Do you want normal cookies, or chocolate chip?" I ask.

Lily smiles. I decide to do both as I know if Nathan were here, he would tell me to do both. Once I finish putting both batches in the oven, I clean up and sit on the couch with Lily.

"Shall we face time aunty Rachel?" I say to Lily who is sitting in my lap.

I grab the iPad and then facetime Rachel. She doesn't answer.

"She's probably at work Lil." I say.

I sit the both of us on the couch and we start watching rugrats. I fall asleep, but I'm woken up by Lily patting my face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Lily continues to pat my face.

"You want to go to the park?" I ask.

Lily half smiles. I get her coat and shoes on. I out on a cardigan and some converse. I then strap Lily into her pram and we leave for the park. I sit on a bench and after about 10 minutes, some people come over.

"Move." Says the woman.

"Excuse me?" I say.

"I said move. Me and the girls want to sit here, do move." She says again.

"Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?" I say looking up at the three women with their prams.

"None of your business! Now bloody move or I'll make you move." The woman says again.

"Dont you dare threaten me." I say standing up.

"Look. We asked you to move, now move or I swear I will slap you so hard you'll be in the middle of next week." Says the woman.

"What's your name?" I ask.

"Theresa, why?" Says the woman.

"Hi Theresa. I'm Harper. I came to the park with my baby today to get my mind off the fact that my husband has been deployed to Afghanistan in the army. I also want to get my mind off the fact that I could be visiting my mum right now, only she's dead. I have no one ok. No one. So I came here and I chose this bench to sit on, so if you are going to argue, then argue!" I say.

"Awwww. Such a lovely sob story." Says Theresa.

I can feel tears brimming in my eyes, but I vow not to let them spill. I stare at Theresa and then grab Lily's pram. I start to push it, but then feel an arm pull me round. It's not Theresa. It's one of the other girls.

"What do you want?" I am say.

"I'm Tanya. I'm mates with Theresa and Julie." Says Tanya.

"Why would I care?" I say.

"Look. She was out of order to you and I wish I spoke up. Just, not take it to heart. She's going through a rough time. Don't tell anyone, but she waledtin on her boyfriend doing it with her cousin, Shelly." Says Tanya.

"Thats awful." I say.

"Look. I've got my number of you want to talk." Says Tanya.

"Thanks." I say.

I take the little piece of paper and put it in my back pocket. I say goodbye and the walk home. I stop off at Tesco to get some bits. I end up buying the things I would need for a roast dinner (chicken, carrots, potatoes etc).

"Bath time for you and then I'll start dinner." I say to Lily.

I take her upstairs and then run a bath. Whilst the tub is filling up for the both of us, I lay her on my bed. I undress her and then to stop her from getting cold, I wrap her towel round her.

"Come on then." I say.

I pick Lily up and then take her I to the bathroom. I undress myself and then we both get in the bath. Lily stares at me and Jiang help but smile.

"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly. Lavender's green. When you are king, dilly dilly. I shall be queen. Who told you so, dilly dilly. Who told you so? 'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly. That told me so."

I finish singing and then begin to was Lily's hair. I then wash her body and put her in her bath seat on the floor, wrapped up in her towel so she doesn't get cold, so I can wash my own hair and body. I get out and carry Lily back to my room. I out her on the bed whilst I go to her room to get her some pj's. Who I go back, I find Lily asleep. I car fully change her and then out her in her bouncer and get dressed myself.

"Hello?" I sat answering the house phone.

"Harper. It's me." Says Nathan.

"Nathan. Are you ok? How are you able to call me?" I say.

"Change of plan, we don't leave until tomorrow." Says Nathan.

"Oh ok. Are you ok?" I ask.

"I'm fine. How's Lily?" Asks Nathan.

"She ok." I say.

"What's wrong?" Asks Nathan.

"Dunno. I just, feel so alone and empty. I might go up to Manchester for a few days." I say.

"You should. I think it would be good for you." Says Nathan.

"I will. I need to go, but I love you so, so much." I say.

"I love you to." Says Nathan.

"Bye Nathan." I say.

"Bye Harper." Says Nathan.

I end the call and then go downstairs to finish dinner. Lily wakes up just in time to eat. After eating, we sit on the sofa and I put on the little mermaid.