Forever

The Ellen Degeneres Show Part One

We flew over to L.A for the Ellen show. It's March 27th, which means Nathan has been missing for exactly 3 months and 2 days. It's like hell on earth without him and I wish he would just come home. Ellen is such a caring person, we were even allowed a driver to pick us up from our 5 star hotel to drive us to the studio. We are about 5 minutes away and I'm shaking. Rachel is with me, so is Lily. Lily is growing up so fast. She'll be two in just 4 months.

"We're here." Says the driver in his American accent.

"Oh my God. I can't believe I'm about to meet Ellen." I say.

We get out the car and some people come up to me. They probably recognise me from when I was on the xfactor.

"Can we have your autograph?" They all ask.

I sign they note pads for the them then we are taken inside. I hug Rachel goodbye before she is guided to the audience. I'm taken back stage and my hair is done a bit and my make up. I've been quiet these past few months, so I hope Ellen will brighten up my life. I'm taken to a couch and given a bottle of Ellen water.

"Do you want anything else? Anything for your daughter?" Asks Andy, one of the producer's.

"No thank you." I say.

I'm left alone. The theme music starts which means the show is beginning. There's a tv screen so I can see everything that's going on.

"Say hi to twitch everybody." Ellen says.

Breathe. Everything will be fine.

The first guest is Portia, Ellen's wife. She's beautiful. The shows been going on for about 40 minutes now. The break was 10 minutes ago.

"Our next guest is a woman, who I invited to the show. All the way from London, England, please welcome Harper Montgomery." Says Ellen.

I pick Lily up and out we on my side. I walk into the stage, a few tears escaping my eyes.I hug Ellen before sitting down.

"Hey cutie." Says Ellen, to Lily.

"Hi Ellen." Says Lily.

"Aww." The audience says in sync.

"You mwake my mwummy weally happy." Says Lily.

"Awww." The audience repeats.

"So Harper. Tell us a bit about yourself for those who don't know you." Says Ellen.

I turn to the audience.

"Well. I originally grew up in Manchester. I moved to London when I was 20. I married my husband when i was 26 and we had Lily. I went on the XFactor last year and got through to the live shows. On my audition, Rita surprised me with a letter from my husband after he had been away from home after being on the army. Soon before our second wedding anniversary, Nathan got deployed again and on Christmas day, I got a telegram saying he was missing in action." I say.

I start crying. I wip the year with a tissue, have a quick sip of water and then continue.

"My grandmother called the war office the next day and it turns out he had been missing in action fo 2 weeks. I haven't seen him in about 4 months. I miss him I much. Everyday, all I wish for is for him to walk through the door and tell me everything's going to be ok. When I received the letter explaining you invited me to your show, I was over the moon. I never thought you would reply. Like Lily said, you make me so happy and I am honoured to be here today." I say.

The audience applauded and then Ellen speaks up.

"It must be really tough for your daughter as well." Says Ellen.

"It is." I say.

"I saw your audition for the xfactor and I want to ask. Would it be ok if you would perform Hello from the first live show?" Asks Ellen.

"Of course." I say.

"You wanna sit on my lap whilst your mommy sings for us." Asks Ellen.

Lily nods and walks to her. Ellen pulls her up and I walk over to the Mic. I get in position and then the music starts.

"Hello, it's me. I was wondering if after a these years you'd like to meet to go over, everything. They say that timed supposed to heal you, but I ain't done much healing. Hello, can you hear me. I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be. When we were younger and green I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet. There's such a difference, between us and a million miles. Hello from the other side. I must have called a thousand times. To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but t don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore. Hello, how are you. It's so typical of me to think about myself I'm sorry."

I begin to cry and stop singing. The audience begins to cheer me on ad I find the courage to sing again.

"So hello from the other side. I must have called a thousand times. To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done, but when i call you never seem to be home. Hello from the outside. At least I can say that ice tried. To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart, but it font matter it clearly doesnt tear you apart anymore."

I finish the song and sit back down.

"That was phenomenal." Says Ellen.

"Thank you." I say.

"So. How is paying the bill's and everything?" Asks Ellen.

Why would she ask such a thing?

"It's all good. I own a bridal boutique, so I get a good income." I say.

"Well. Even though you're getting on good, shutterfly are going to give you $13,205.50 which in British pound is 10 thousand." Says Ellen.

The audience applauds and a man comes out with a cheque. I thank her and then we go to a break.

"Am I doing ok? I haven't messed up or anything?" I ask.

"You're doing great. Just breathe. Anyway, theres more to come when we record again in 10 minutes." Says Ellen.