Forever

Here For What I Came For

I'm at the studio with my manager. I've wrote a song and I have asked him to help me put the music together for it.

"Ok, sing it and as you are singing, I will try out some chirds on the piano." He says.

I go into the booth and then sit on the stool. I put the headphones on and then the I start singing.

"I would always sit alone. You weren't there when I called home. You always tried to hide the truth from everyone. But now I'm here, but not for the rerun. I'm sick of this. You always play with my emotions. You don't care. Baby, let me love you. Before time runs out, before I wanna scream and shout. Because I, don't want to close my eyes. Because everything will... disappear. You blew your chance. Don't want to dance. You made me feel like I was dirt on the floor. It's your loss I can do so much better. You don't care."

I finish the song. Whilst I was singing, my manager was able to put a chord pattern together.

"That sounded great." He says.

"Thanks." I say.

My phone buzzes.

"Is everything ok?" I ask.

"Yeah, I have to go to my daughter's dance studio for a mini meeting." I say.

"Ok, well, good work today Harper. See you tomorrow." My manager says.

I leave the studio and then drive to Lily's dance. I wait at the from desk and then I'm taken to a room.

"Ok, I just wanted to talk to you all about this weekend. I have my competition team, but I got an e-mail from energy dance. They are hosting a competition in Nebraska for dancers under 10. I thought it Would be good for the kids." Abby says.

"I don't know, what if they get scared and run off stage? Maybe you will tell at them just like you did with the others on your team." A mum says.

Abby looks like she's about to explode, but I quickly step in.

"Hey. You wanna watch your mouth." I say.

Why did I step in. I'm making things worse.

"What did you say?" The mum says.

"I said, you wanna watch your mouth. All she d's was make a suggestion for your child! She is trying to help, yet you're throwing her under the bus!" I say.

"You got a problem with that you British bitch?" She asks.

"Yes I do. I may now log in America, but my nationality is British. Whatever you say isn't going to bother me." I say.

Great, now the cameras at here.

"René, you need to leave." Abby says.

"Why should I when she started it?" René asks.

"You are so immature it is unreal!" I say.

"Oooh, I'm soooooo scared!" René says.

"Just go. I won't tolerate you being rude and disrespectful to another mom. You better get out of here and take your kid with you! I had plans for her, but you and your mouth had to ruin it." Abby says.

René leaves with her daughter and the we are dismissed from the meeting. I go and get Lily from gymnastics and take her home. Nathan pick a the twins up from playgroup and beings the home.

"Nathan, can you watch the kids tonight please? I'm going out with the mums from Lily's dance." I say.

"Yeah, but I have an early shift at 5 so..." Nathan says.

"Ok." I say.

I go upstairs and have a quick shower. Nathan baths the kids and then I do my hair. I curl it and then let the curls go loose. After that, I out on my dress. It's a black dress that hangs off the shoulders. I have a black clutch bag and black heels.

"You off then?" Nathan asks without making eye contact.

"Yeah. Is everything alright?" I ask.

"Just go out. I'm sure you'll have loads of fun." Nathan says.

"Ok, what's this really about?" I ask.

"I know that you are getting closer to your manager." Nathan says.

"Really? You think I would stoop that low? Please! My manager is 45 years old. He is married with 5 kids." I say.

"Just go Harper. Your probably meeting him now. Maybe that's where you go every time you go out!" Nathan says.

"What is going on with you? Do you seriously think I would cheat on you? After everything?" I say.

"You barely speak to me!" Nathan says.

I've heard enough. I storm out the house and get a taxi to town. I meet up with the mum's. Their names are Beth and Lola.

"You ok Harper?" Lola asks.

"Yeah. Where are we going?" I ask.

"We are going to the sushi place and then we are going to the movie's to watch Bridget Jones." Beth says.

After an hour in the restaurant, we go to the movies. When we leave, Beth and Lola get a cab back to their places and I walk home. Before I get home, I go to the liquor store and by three bottles. I get home and Nathan is sleeping on the couch. I try and close the front door without waking him, but I'm unsuccessful.

"Hey baby. Have the kids been alright?" I ask.

"Yeah. I've been sitting here, knowing where you've been. Thank God they are too young to understand that their mum is a lying cheat!" Nathan says.

I look at the bottles in the plastic bag and then at Nathan. I walk into the kitchen and start downing the first bottle.

"What are you doing?" Nathan asks.

"Taking the pain away. Toy make me feel so worthless. Maybe moving to America was a mistake. Maybe because you're accusing me of cheating, is because you're cheating yourself. You are making me feel awful about myself." I say.

I continue to drink the bottle. Once I have finished, I throw it away and open the second one.

"Maybe you should slow down." Nathan says.

"Not until you apologise for accusing me of cheating!" I say.

I begin the cry as I swallow the burning alcohol. I stop after about 10 gulps.

"Why are you being like this?" I ask.

"Harper. I'm sorry. I have no idea what came over me." Nathan says.

"You have no excuse for this. Do you know how much pain you are causing me?" I ask as I push bottle two aside.

"I'm sorry. I've just been really stressed at the moment." Nathan says.

"With what?" I semi shout.

"Hospital appointments. I've been going during my breaks." Nathan says.

"Why are you going for hospital appointments?" I ask.