Dear God Please Help Me

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Today it's Christmas. My nan, grandad, aunt Rachel and the rest of the family have come down to my house for christmas dinner. We are sitting at the table eating. We are all exchanging conversations when something gets posted through the door.

"Post. On Christmas?" Says my grandad.

I don't have my boot anymore, but still have crutches. I see the small white envelope on the door mat. I pick it up and pope it. It's a yellow card. Not just any card. A telegram. I go back to the table with the telegram in my hands.

"Harper. What is it?" Asks my nan.

"It's a telegram. It's says M.I.A." I say.

"Missing in action." Says Rachel.

I burst into tears and my aunt Rachel immediately comforts me.

"I should never have let him leave here." I say.

"It's ok. He'll come home." Says Rachel.

"They must have got it wrong. He can't be missing in action." I say.

"Harper. Listen to me. Nathan is going to come home. I promise." Says Rachel.

We finish dinner in silence and I don't even bother sitting with my family to own presents. Christmas is ruined.

"Harper. Can I come in?" Asks my nan.

My nan opens my bedroom door after I grant her access. She closes th door and sits on the bed.

"Why? Why me? Why us?" I say.

"Shh. It's ok." Says my nan.

She hugs me as I cry. Nathan has to come home.
He just has to.

"If he doesn't come home, how am I going to live with myself?" I say.

"Look. I will contact the war office tomorrow and find out all the information." My nan says.

"I just want to go to bed." I say.

"Ok. Well keep an eye on Lily." Says my nan.

She gives me a kissand I lay down. When I wake up, it's about 8:00 pm. I decide to go downatairs, feeling selfish for nd spending time with the family when they are the ones who drove 300 miles to spend Christmas with me.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Harper." Says Rachel.

"No. I do. I found out my husband is missing in action and I'm leyrjng it get to me. I need to carry on with life. Like nothing has happened. I need to be strong for Lily. Because of I suffer. Then she suffers to." I say.

I sit on the couch with my grandad and Rachel whilst my nan and Lily are on the arm chair.

"You are such a beautiful, strong woman and Nathan is lucky to call you his wife." Says my grandad.

A few more hours pass. Rachel puts Lily to bed and then my nan and grandad go up to the spare room. The sofa's are uncomfortable to sleep on so Rachel is taking my side of the bed, whilst I preserve Nathan's.

"Night Harper. Merry Christmas." Says Rachel.

"Merry Christmas." I say.

I turn on my side and close my eyes. I cry again, but soon fall into a deep sleep. I don't seem to have a dream, and I'm waking up every 3 hours.

"This is going to be a long night." I say to myslef as I get up to go to the toilet.

Just as I get to the door, my nan comes out. There is about a three second silence before we hug. We wish each other happy Christmas and then I proceed in travelling to the toilet. I do my business and the go back to bed.

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