I'm Only Human (Justin Bieber Fanfic)

Ch. 31 - Build It Up Or Fall Apart

 ~ Chapter 31: Build It Up Or Fall Apart  ~

[ Justin’s POV: ]

“Justin.”

I stood there, my feet frozen deep into the ground. My head was spinning. I felt nauseous, dizzy, anxious and disgusted all at the same time. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I messed it all up and I screwed up my chances with anyone, really.

“Justin!” Za shouted again, this time earning my attention. I snapped back to reality and blinked at him. “What happened? You completely blanked out…”

I didn’t say anything, feeling the hairs on my arms rise the minute I heard footsteps approaching us. It took less than five seconds for Jackie to then show up at the living room, her face blushed as she shyly looked up at us. I immediately locked my phone and stuffed it back into my pocket, feeling my heartbeat pick up twice its normal pace.

“Jackie…” I whispered, my voice gentle. What should I do? What should I do?

Za cleared his throat, awkwardly watching us. We were all quiet for a moment before I let out an involuntary sigh. Without even thinking, I reached out my hand as a way to seek some comfort from something—anything—but I ended up grabbing Jackie’s hand and squeezing it tightly, loving the way her hand fit into mine. Jackie looked down at our intertwined fingers and I smiled at her sadly.

“You should go,” I spoke softly, brushing my thumb lightly across her skin. Jackie’s face fell.

“W-Wait… Wh-Wh-What?” she mumbled, heartbroken. “I thought… Wait… What?”

My heart ached. I wanted to hold her forever, to bring upon the same amount of comfort to her as she brings to me. But I know that, no matter how many times she promises me she ain’t leaving, she will. There’s not a doubt in my mind that she’d leave me. Specially when she finds out about… The bimbo I was stupid enough to get pregnant.

I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to show her the world. I wanted to make her happy. To see her smile and think damn, did I do that? I wanted to continue to see that cute blush of hers. And, quite simply, I just want to hear her voice and feel her touch.

Is that too much to ask?

“Go home, Jackie,” I said slowly, staring at the floor. I couldn’t dare look her in the eyes. I loosened my grip on her hand, only to feel her squeeze back harder.

“Justin, no..” she whispered. “Wh-… What did I do? Whatever it is, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, please don’t make me leave.”

She looked like she was about to cry and the guilt started to spread throughout my bloodstream like rapid fire. It wasn’t my intentions to make her this upset.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, trust me,” I protested. “But… It’s best if you go.”