Dominant Book 2

Chapter Twenty-Five

*Alexandrielle's POV*

    As fast as I have ever seen a human move, he has me in his grip; firm but not painful.

    "Do you really think I would do that to you Lex? Do you really think I would want to repeat what my grandfather did? Do you really think I could do that to someone I love? To someone I let myself open up and let her in? Do you?! I know you hate me, I know you want nothing more than just to get a knife and slit my throat open but you don't know how much more I hate myself million times more the way you hate me. I know you won't believe what I'll say and I don't think you'll ever going to listen to me even if I explain it to you. All I did is to protect you. Do you know how hard it is to force yourself to do something that you know will destroy you and the love of your life but you have to do it because you have to because there's no other way to protect her? Do you know how hard it is to keep on doing it and refrain yourself from pushing them away because they are not YOU? Do you know how hard it is to stay up all night because you couldn't sleep no matter how hard you try, drowning in self-loathing and imagining the worst things that could happen from now on or if you didn't do that? Because whatever I'll choose I'll loose you. If I didn't do it I would've lost you forever, but if I did it, I would still lose you but I could still see you...and I chose the latter. Because no matter how painful and how much it will destroy the both of us, I will always choose to lose you in exchange of a happiness you could have without me" the last of his sentence came out so hurt, so vulnerable. His eyes shining with tears but he held them back. With every word he uttered, his emotions pour out of him so great that it washes over me like it is mine. There are already tears in my eyes with how much pain he is putting himself into, the same selfless pain he chose just to do what he thinks is to protect me. I couldn't even fathom what is happening because all I can focus are his words. They are so sad, so maddable, so frustrating but at the same time, it causes my heart to break again for him.

    Blinking his tears back, his grip left me that made the heaviness in my heart even more heavy. Smoke dances behind him and the smell of burned food filled the air.

    Turning around, his back faced me as he turned it off. His shoulders shaking with the effort to contain the life killing pain he feels inside...except, it'll get worse and worse the more you keep it in. You need to let it out, I learned it firsthand.

    "I'll order for dinner" he said stoically but his voice cracked a bit before he left the kitchen, leaving me with a newfound revelation but also with a hanging question.

    "Why can't you tell me?"