Dominant Book 2

Chapter Thirty-Five

*Alexandrielle's POV*

    Flopping on the bed with a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes but Zach's hurt expression haunted me.

    My heart ached for him even though it shouldn't. There's been no light in his eyes lately, all hurt and pain...sadness and wariness. It's like he never even tasted happiness at all. There are big black bags under his eyes, his face more hollow, his high cheekbones is very prominent like he's been a walking dead for days. He even lost weight. I don't know if it's about the nights when he'll wake up just to help me or it's about something else. He's never been the same as I've met him and it changed when I found out about his betrayal. I know I shouldn't care at all but I couldn't help it. My other side is tied with him...hopefully not forever but I always have that feeling that I should hear his side. But at what risk? It might hurt me even worse. Call me a coward but I'm done hurting.

    Pressing my back against the wall that separates Zach and I, a sigh left my mouth when I felt that same warmth I always feel when Zach and I use to do this back in New York.

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*Zach's POV*

    Tears threaten to fall as I hug my knees to my chest. My heart ached so bad that my hands itch to just tear it out of my chest. This pain I'm feeling is something that keeps me wishing for death to just take me. I can't take it anymore.

    I can't stand not being with her anymore...it kills me. No matter how accustomed I am and how much I crave to touch her, it takes every control of my body not to...to give her space. As much as my other side craves her touch, to soothe my beast down I couldn't. I have to respect her. This is her choice. Even though it kills me to not be with her, I have to. I'm afraid that if I step out of the line...I might lose her forever.

    I know I will lose her soon, it's just that...I just want to be with her for one last time. To keep her for even a small amount of time is enough for me. I just want her.

    I felt her warmth soon with the faint sigh that came from her. I clenched my teeth from crying out. This pain that has bottled up for the past few months is cracking my armor, tearing it down like a piece of paper. I wasn't able to let it out, I can't. It'll only make me weak. But the more I kept it in, the more it hurts. I couldn't help it, I've been through so much that keeping my emotions to myself is like an automatic reaction for me.

    Tears leaked out from my eyes as the pain intensified. I buried my head in my forearms as my tears wet it, a futile attempt to stop it from flowing out.

    I feel like I'm still a six year old boy. Crying out when his mother wasn't there to put him to sleep. Even though I have grown up tough and strong, that hurt boy in me is still inside; crying. No matter how much I deny myself that I needed someone; I badly do. Sometimes I just wish that I am normal like any other. A family that loves me and couldn't care less about anything.

    I don't care about being a dominant, I just wish I have MY family.

    No matter how much I will grow, that need to have a mother by my side always take a toll on me even though how many times I deny that I needed her.