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After they had gotten food, Emily went back to Jack's with a spare change of clothes. Luckily she had packed some shorts but she was worried just in case Jack saw.

Emily said bye to Bailey and Logan as they drove off. Then she turned to the Uber which was about to bring them back to the Why Don't We house.

****

After changing, Emily came back out to Jack's room where he was sitting on his bed texting. He was sitting against the
headboard, one leg dangling off the side. Emily went over and kneeled in between his legs.

"So, what do you want to do?" Emily asked, putting her hands on Jack's shoulders.

He looked up from his phone and was about to answer when he looked down. "What are those?" he asked, tracing his fingers over the small scars on Emily's thighs.

Emily dropped her hands from Jack's shoulders. Jack shook his head and got off the bed. He was about to leave when Emily started talking.

"I used to self harm," she muttered. This made Jack stop dead in his tracks. He turned back to the girl sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What do you mean?" Jack managed to choke out. A lump had formed in his throat.

"I had just turned fourteen and well, I was gonna take anything from anyone with the slightest bit of popularity like it was a message from God. There was this girl, she used to tell me I was fat and ugly and I should kill myself, and I listened. It took a few days for me to react properly, but when I did, I locked myself in my bathroom and grabbed my razor," Jack had sat down on the edge of the bed, the knot in his stomach growing tighter with every word Emily said. "I had thought about just ending it all, there and then but I couldn't do that to my family, so instead I started to cut my thighs and stomach. The ones on my stomach weren't deep enough to become scars, but on my thighs they were.
And that girl, she also used to call me fat. So I used to make myself sick. I did become skinnier and I was happy with my achievement. The girl left me alone, and everything was fine. Except for the fact I couldn't stop. I was never happy with how skinny I was. I used to stuff my bra and drink a liter of water for two reasons.
1. To make me bloated so I didn't look suspiciously skinny and
2. So I would be too full to have to eat,"

"Is that what you meant in the video on Logan's channel where you said Alissa had something about your eating disorder?" Jack asked. He was scared to look at Emily, because he could hear it in her voice she was crying.

"Y-yeah. I had told a few members of Team 10 because I thought I could trust them, but she just threw it back in my face," Emily wiped away a tear from her eye.

"Anyway, one day I fainted in school. I was rushed to hospital and the doctors said the cause was blood loss and starvation," Emily had been looking at her hands the whole time, rubbing them together. Now though she turned to look at him, "but Jack you need to understand that I would never do that again. After I saw what it done to mom and dad and Jake and Logan and even Lenn, I would never wish it on anyone ever again," Emily started crying again, heavier though this time. She took hold of Jack's hand and squeezed it. "About less than a year later Jake and Logan were moving out here, so a little after I turned sixteen I graduated early and moved out with them,"

Jack stood up from the bed and ran a hand through his hair. When he turned back to Emily, she saw the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks.

Emily hated seeing him this way, so she jumped up off the bed and hugged him tight. She wrapped her arms around his torso and he wrapped his around her, holding her as tight as he could.

Emily buried her head into the crook of Jack's neck and whispered, "just remember I would never dream of doing that again because..... I-I love you,"

Jack was pretty sure his heart stopped. "You love me?"

"Yeah,"

"Good, because I love you too,"

******
(A/N)

This chapter gave me the feels♡

So I just want to talk to you guys. This is just a little insight into Emily's life before LA.
I just want all of you to know that you are never to feel like you are too fat or not pretty enough, because trust me you are. Don't think that you have to put a razor to your skin or shove two fingers down your throat just so you can feel better. Talking is something that can really help. Just know that I am a text away.
If you ever just feel like crap and wanna talk then pm me here on Wattpad or if it's easier then add my insta @whydontwe_ireland03 .
I'm always there to talk, and if I don't answer straight away it's either cause I'm super lazy or I don't have access to Internet, but know that I will get to you❤

Sorry if this was depressing😂❤

Eims
♡♡♡

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