Living as a UnHealthy teen

Fuck its so close...

12/23/17

Wow it's so fucking close to Christmas...

Anyway I found out the hotspot on my phone shouldn't cost any extra so that's good. I haven't had time to flim a video but I have ideas so once I get done filming them I will slowly start uploading them I really want to upload once a week at least. Worst case it will be every three weeks but I'm hoping that dosent happen.

I have 9 ideas for videos usually I have zero so I'm doing decent 👌 well technically I have more but it will be awhile before I can do those...

My video ideas are definitely different than what I usually do but I like it and I really want to do them so therefore I am. I am going to tell you guys that the first one I post I already have it flimed the problem is it's on my camera so as soon as I get my coumputer I'm going to work on it honestly it's nothing special just clips from school that I took on a free day it would have been in a different video but I didn't have a way to transfer it.

I have had chess for enrichment for awhile now but I've always been doing assignments during that period so I never learned how to play. But two of my friends play during lunch and I watch and Del says ok it's your turn to play against me and I'm like no no I've never played I'm not sure how...  Del just says well I'm going to teach you

So every day after I get done with my lunch he teaches me how to play it and I thought chess was going to be hard to learn it really isn't that hard as long as you can remember what directions each of the pieces can go I'm not a professional that's for sure I'm still learning but at least I know enough to be able to play the game.

I definitely wouldn't try to go against anyone yet. I need some more practice before I do that. I've actually wanted to learn for awhile so I'm glad he offered to teach me.

Some of my friends have said to me sometimes they completely forget what I am biologically😂Just because I'm really neutral like I don't really act feminine . But my friend made a joke the other day how they think I'm a guy biologically until I don't have a hoodie on bc of balls of fat 😂

Del knew about my sexuality for a long time actually I think he was convinced I was just lesbian for a awhile not because of what I said though.

But yeah dels awsome um Sage and me are doing a lot better as friends he actually has been helping me with math if it weren't for him I would probably be failing. Those anxiety attacks I told you guys about it happend in class and he helped me through both of them. So has del,life saver 🙌🏻.Honestly I probably would have never calmed down if he wouldn't have calmed me down.

You guys are probably like you only talk about your guy friends never your friends that are girls. Well that's because I talk to my guy friends a lot more than them. And my guy friends are less drama and none of them ask me out and are unfaithful. I'm not saying that about all of them (guys and girls) of my friend group but quite a few are or do ask me out even after I've said no three times. A lot more of the girls than guys that I'm friends with are unfaithful and try to ask me out.

I always say no because I don't want to be in a relationship where I know you'll cheat if you get the chance and I know your just daiting me to date someone sorry but I'm not like that. If I date you I'm legitimately into you I don't fucking play games with people.

I really want to die my hair I'm not sure what yet cause it can't be unnatural but that's exactly what I want😂 I haven't died my hair since I had long hair which has been at least a year Wait MAYBE TWO? Holy fuck idk I'm going to find that out. Anyway last time it was red and it didn't look natural at all which is what I wanted but it turned out bright and just no it wasn't my favorite . My friend wants me to dye it black. I have always wanted to try it but I've also wanted to try blue so since I can't exactly do blue I could do a blueish black?

And the principal can't say anything about it because for the most part it will look black. And if I get shit from him he can just fuck off its none of his business if we dye our hair or not. But I really want to dye it I'm just not sure what would look good. But yeah lol

Anyway that's all for today stay strong love you guys BYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Random thing of the day?
What color should I dye my hair?