WoF OC Reviews

Scoria

YES! P!ATD FTW!

Name: Scoria

That seems more like a SkyWing name, mm?

Age: 32

Wonderful age.

Gender: Female

Yeppo.

Sexuality: Bisexual, but prefers not to get into any sort of relationship.

Oh, okay. Is there a reason why she prefers not to?

Tribe: Mudwing

*cheers*

Abilities: Just normal Mudwing abilities- and she's really smart and an expert fighter.

Huh. Okay, okay, I like it, but normally MudWings aren't very smart. But, hey! Not every MudWing's like that, hm?

Rank: The ruler of an army that is trying to take over Pyrrhia

Woah! That's not something you see a MudWing trying to do every day!

Appearance- A normal Mudwing but with rather reddish scales and is massive (a bit smaller that Morrowseer). She is adorned with gems, golden chains and capes when she's not fighting or spying on kingdoms.

I'm afraid spying on kingdoms and being massive doesn't really add up properly... I mean, unless she has the obsidian mirror or something of the like, wouldn't she have to sneak in their kingdoms or something?

Personality- Rude, selfish, stuck up, overly dramatic, stubborn. If needed however- she will act in whatever way she needs.

Hmm, where's her leadership qualities? Maybe add some leadership qualities, and you're good.

Family- Quail (mother, deceased), Frog (Father, unknown), Alligator (Brother, alive), Otter (Brother, alive), Pheasant (sister, desceased), Toad (Brother, desceased), Muskrat (sister, desceased), (a dragonet which she gave away and never named. It's current whereabouts are unknown).

Awh, so only Alligator remains alive? Well, I suppose it makes sense, with apparently the war going on.

Also, I'd like to know a tad more about this mysterious dragonet.

Residence- Used to be a loyal citizen of the Mudwing kingdom but now lives with her army on an island they found not too far from the mainland which is now under ownership of them.

Interesting, interesting. But where in the MudWing kingdom did she live in? A town, maybe?

Mate- She did have one, a male purebred Mudwing called Crocodile, but things between them fell out when she became with egg.

Awh.

Dragonets- an abandoned dragonet. It is unknown if they were adopted or died when abandoned.

AWH.

Other-

•Everyone that was killed in her family was killed fighting in the war of the Sandwing succession.

Makes sense.

• She ran from the battle field with her remaining siblings and a few other dragons she could persuade to start her army.

• She has met Queen Scarlet and didn't mind her.

Okayyy, but what did Scarlet think of her? Also, what were they doing? What situation? Was it like "Ohh, yes, how thrilling of you to come for tea, Scoria!" or was it more like "THRILLING! You're going in the dungeon. And you get no tea, HAH!"?

Backstory: Scoria was a loyal dragonet, growing up normally, fighting when needed. Until one fateful day, a swarm of Icewings took the camp where Scoria and her sibling unit was staying by surprise and massacred many Mudwings, some of these were her mother, two of her sisters and a brother. She knew that if she hung around any longer she would join them. Her and her remaining brothers survived the attack and started to talk to other dragons. They wanted this war to be over and came up with an extremely dangerous plan. They would run away.

During a battle one day, her and her followers ran away from the war, a few of her followers died on the escape path. Her remaining followers knew that they wouldn't be allowed back into their kingdom and no one else would let them in. They kept flying over the sea until they found a perfect island after a day of flying with little to no rest. They settled down there and started building their kingdom. Occasionally, missionaries would go in and bring back new followers and supplies. Even to now, the location and true details of Scoria and her kingdom remains a secret to anyone but Queen Scarlet and her followers.

Okay, so it was more like the first one with thrilling tea, then. But why would Queen Scarlet ally herself with Scoria? Is this AU where she isn't allied with Burn? Did Scarlet turn on Burn? Does Scarlet want to take over Pyrrhia with Scoria?

The beliefs of this system is to convert all of Prryhia to a dictatorship approach of leadership, where all tribes are ruled by one leader and there is no more Monarchy, instead it is replaced by a democracy.

Interesting.


Well, altogether, this backstory is amazing. The only thing I think it's lacking is detail, and maybe some length. Surely her childhood wasn't all normal? And when exactly did Scarlet and Scoria meet? Other than that, it's great.

My Rating:

9.5/10

Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original)

Realism: 22/25 (2 points knocked off for the lack of leadership qualities, 1 point knocked off for the SkyWing-ish name [However, if there's a good reason as to why she has a SkyWing-ish name, then I'll give back the point])

Interest: 23/25 (2 points knocked off for the lack of lengthening and explanation in some places, but otherwise I'm very interested in this character)

Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)

Comments:

Scoria's really great! Just some small errors - maybe a few things explained and lengthening of the backstory a tad bit, and then she's perfect.