WoF OC Reviews

Nightingale

(Awesome taste in music btw!)

Whether or not it's an au: it is not

Ok

Era: quite a while after the rainwings and nightwings began living in the rainforest together

Cool

Name: Nightingale

Cool name, but I think I've seen it before... Meh. Maybe I'm just thinking of Skyrim.

Age: 30 {it really depends on the rp I'll modify her age on different rps once and awhile}

Ok.

Gender: female

Alright.

Sexuality: Bi romantic asexual

Nice.

Tribe: nightwing rainwing hybrid

Eh... it's a bit overused, quite a bit overused, but they are one of the least far-fetched hybrids there are so it's alright I guess.

Queen they support: queen glory.

Ok, so the era is "a while after the rainwings and nightwings began living in the rainforest together, but Queen Glory's still alive". Nice.

Abilities: Nightingale was born with weak fire that burns her throat when she uses it, she was born with no venom and the ability to partially camouflage herself but her belly scales, wing membranes, frill, stripes and spots on her neck/body/tail cannot change colour along with the scales surrounding her eyes.

Cool abilities and they make perfect sense. They go along with her hybridism, and that's a special and rare thing to do. So it's excellent.

Rank: Nightingale is a guardian of dragonets {basically she takes in dragonets who don't have a home or family and watches over them keeping them safe until they are old enough to live on their own. She lets them leave when they're ready and doesn't force them out.}

Awh, that sounds really sweet. Does she get help from others? I would imagine that she would get help. It's a really nice rank, to be honest.

Appearance: Nightingale is a large dragon with the build of a nightwing but the sleek scales of a rainwing She also has a rainwings frill. She has an od patterning that somewhat resembles a galaxy that never seems to go away,

Oh no. Oh no no no. Anything but the "galaxy patterns". Oh god no. Please no.

her underbelly, wing membranes and frill are all the common black with star patterns on them and she also has a stripe of this pattern running down her back.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO —

She has the typical rainwing spots running down her neck and tail with zigzagging stripes in between that always seem to stay an electric purple along with scales lining her belly scales. Her eyes are a bright electric blue and her horns are white

I know you've already gotten a headshot of her, so the chances of you changing her design are slim, but sheesh, do you know how overused galaxy patterns are? Thank whatever great gods above that you didn't give her a galaxy related name.

Oh, and I won't take any points off, but still. If you can, you might want to consider changing that.

Personality: Nightingale is a kind, caring, stubborn, intelligent and extremely protective dragon, she mostly spends her time teaching the young dragonets she took in or she has her nose buried in a scroll. She will protect others with her life and would give her life up so others could live. She is extremely devoted to protecting and providing for the young dragons that don't have homes or families. She may be kind but you do not want to get on her bad side as she can get rude and snappy if she doesn't like you.

This part is extremely overused.

She is a generally helpful dragon as she will help around the village as much as she can but spends most of her time with the dragonets.

... Wow. That's it?

Where are her flaws? Oh my...

The only thing remotely close to a flaw is the "She may be kind but you do not want to get on her bad side as she can get rude and snappy if she doesn't like you" part, which frankly is cliché and overused.

So. Um. Make it balanced, with either an equal amount of minor flaws, or a few major flaws to balance out the many minor good traits.

Family: she never knew her biological parents as she was abandoned. But was raised by a female rainwing named bongo.

Cool.

Father- caiman {Rainwing}

I feel like that would be a more, well, MudWing name. Maybe consider changing it?

Mother- Dawnbreaker {nightwing}

Okay, is this a coincidence, or like...?

Have you ever played Skyrim before? Because, if not, there is a sword in the game called Dawnbreaker. I won't take any points off (even if it was based off the sword), but still, ain't that a coincidence if you actually haven't ever heard of Skyrim before?

Mate: none at the moment

Ok

Dragonets: none of her own but considers the dragonets she takes in as her own.

Aw.

Backstory: nightingale was born about three years after the sandwing succession war. Her mother was a nightwing her father a rainwing who had fallen for each other based on looks. Within a few days Dawnbreaker was with egg and Caiman was nowhere to be found. Once Dawnbreaker laid her egg she left it in the forest not caring what happened to it. After awhile the egg hatched and out came Nightingale. She was lost confused and scared when an older rainwing found her. Her name was bongo. Bongo named Nightingale and raised her with kindness as if Nightingale was her own she taught her everything she knew and once she was old enough bongo told her about how Nightingale wasn't really hers but she had just taken her in. Of course this shattered her but this also inspired Nightingale and once she was old enough she started building a large hut on the side of the village. It took her five years to complete but once it was finished she began searching for abandoned/homeless dragonets. At this point in time she was around 17/18 years old. She raised the dragons and taught them everything that bongo had taught her and whatever she had learned on her own.

... Wow. That's actually a really good backstory. It explains everything, it makes sense, and honestly, it's sweet, if simple. There's not a lot of action in it, but y'know what? That's okay. I like it.

Residents: in a large hut on the side of a rainwing village

Lovely.

My Rating:

9.1/10

Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original)

Realism: 21/25 (.5 points knocked off for the name "Caiman", 3.5 points knocked off for the extreme lack of flaws)

Interest: 20/25 (I'm very interested in this character)

Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)

Comments:

It's almost completely great! The biggest flaw in the character, though, is the LACK of flaws. Just give her personality a healthy dose of negative traits, and what you've got is a great character!