WoF OC Reviews

General Viper

Era/AU: Imperium (check my RP book for details).

Already have *finger guns*

Name: Viper

Isn't that... well, canon? Well, I can understand wanting to keep your character's name, but if this character was created AFTER the canon Viper was introduced, then I suggest changing it.

Age: 7

That's a little young for a general, don't ya think?

Gender: Male

Cool.

Sexuality: Bisexual (but leans towards females)

Same.

Tribe: Sandwing

Thought so.

Queen they Support: Viper supports all of the queens, though even above them, he serves the Empire with absolute loyalty.

Makes sense.

Abilities: Viper is an animus dragon, though out of fear of becoming power-mad, Viper enchanted himself to only be able to cast a single spell each day. Viper is also (with a bit of help from animus enchantments) a master of almost all types of combat.

*nods* Makes sense.

Rank: Viper is a General in the Empire's military. He is just below the Imperial Warlord and by extension, the Emperor, in rankings within the empire. Occasionally, however, he is allowed to partake in meetings with the Emperor's high council.

Ooh, interesting and detailed. I like it!

Appearance: Viper is of relatively average size by sandwing standards. His eyes are blue, unlike a sandwing. This due to an enchantment Viper made which made his vision much stronger than average. Viper has a scar which goes along the side of his neck (sustained in a battle that he led the charge for). He has a minor tear along his right wing, this tear doesn't hinder his flying in any way, and it was sustained by his abusive parents. Viper never bothered to heal it because he uses its existence to "never let myself forget where I came from."

Oh, that's interesting. You don't really describe Viper's coloration, though, aside from the blue eyes. Even if all SandWings are sorta sandy-dusty looking, they all have different scale colors. Maybe go into detail with his coloration in general.

Also, since he's a General, shouldn't he have armor? Like, maybe he doesn't wear it all the time, but I feel like a good part of his life he's supposed to be wearing some armor, of some kind. Maybe even some hidden weaponry? Or perhaps a symbol of his ranking?

Personality: Viper is a strong commander and possesses keen intellect. He is adept at visualizing tactics and plans in his head. Viper refuses to do anything major without having first concocted a plan. He is somewhat neurotic on that point. Viper is meticulous and always overextends in his work. He never settles for half-measures. Despite being absolutely loyal to the Empire, Viper is not afraid to speak out against it, which he only does if he believes that his idea can benefit the Empire. Viper is overly critical of himself and frequently suffers from survivor's guilt. He has a heart of gold.

A good overall view, I think. It's good. Maybe you could add a bit more, but that's basically it.

Backstory: Viper was born to two very abusive parents. Viper and his sister, Dunestrider, quickly learned to survive on their own.

So I looked up Dunestrider... and uh... there is no animal called "Dunestrider". I think I saw a weird fictional dinosaur-lookin thing, but I don't think that's what you were going for. This "Dunestrider" sounds awfully NightWing, since only NightWings have names like that. So perhaps change it, if it doesn't actually mean, like, an animal or something.