WoF OC Reviews

Amaryllis

Side note: Halfway through this form I started hallucinating, but somehow I had enough brain power to realize that maybe I shouldn't publish the completed review until later so when I'm NOT hallucinating I could go over everything and make sure my hallucinating brain didn't add anything strange.

Thank heavens for that, because only later did I realize how crappy some of the critique was, and made the review a lot better.

Also, I'm so sorry this was so late.

Anyway, onwards!

Name ~ Amaryllis

Good name!

Age - A bit over 7

Young adult, eh?

Gender ~ Male

Thought it was female, but aye, males are always welcome.

Tribe ~ Leafwing

Oooh, there's a first in this review book! A non-Pyrrhian tribe!

Sexuality - Straight

That's fine.

Rank - Leafwing pretending to be silkwing, I guess?

An interesting concept, but how? LeafWings and SilkWings look drastically different. Does he use, like, a blanket to cover his wings and a hat?

Edit: Okay, after looking at how he does it, I strongly recommend removing it. As I'll say two other times in this form, I recommend Amaryllis just wearing a cape for the first few years of his life, and then making Stinger a used-to-be tattoo artist before meeting Amaryllis and taking him in, and when Amaryllis is older, Stinger tattoos large orange tattoos (I say orange because if it starts to fade, or it doesn't completely cover everything, other dragons can just assume the brown scales are just a really dull/dark orange) all over Amary's body and wings to make him look more like a SilkWing.

Additionally, Why is he pretending to be a SilkWing? What's the story, here? Why doesn't he just live in the Poison Jungle?

Queen Supporting - None.

Makes sense, I suppose. Not like he'd support Queen Wasp.

Time Period / Era - Depends on roleplay. If I make a book about him, around 5-20 years b4 Arc 3

Okay

AU Or Not - He is in the normal universe of WOF.

Makes sense

Personality ~ He is pretty shy, but is annoying a lot... To his friends, he is annoying, talkative, and sometimes funny or sarcastic.

I honestly like his personality so far, but the words you're using are a bit broad. For example: he's annoying, but how is he annoying? Is he absentminded? Fidgety? Distracted?

And then: How is he shy? Is he quiet? Awkward? Tries to avoid the spotlight? Doesn't engage with other dragons?

What's his humor like?

What makes him talkative, if he's usually shy around everyone excepting friends?

You need to be a bit more specific with your wording and maybe add some traits and details. Then you're good.

Likes ~

He really likes his friends, he loves learning about plants and animals, and enjoys school.

I like this. Not much else to say.

Dislikes ~

He dislikes most hivewings but Stinger and a few others. He doesn't like the dark, or Queen Wasp.