WoF OC Reviews

Ex-King Thaw

Era/time period: Same as Bog's time period.

Sounds good.

Name: Thaw

I haven't seen the name before, so good job on originality.

Age: about 30 years

Okay. Makes sense.

Gender: male

Yesh

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Lovely

Tribe: IceWing

I love IceWings, although their whole animus heritage doesn't quite make sense.

Queen they support: none

Alrighty

Abilities: can breath frostbreath, withstand freezing temperatures (not so much after he leaves the kingdom more in backstory) and he has serrated claws

So... basically regular IceWing abilities? YAY!

Rank: Ex-king and Fugitive (kinda? He really doesn't have a job)

OooOOOh, an ex-King. I haven't seen that in an OC, ever. Good for originality.

Appearance: Thaw is a fairly large IceWing. His scales a a very pale blue with darker hues near the tips of his spikes. His eyes are a dark blue with slight speckling of brown. He usually wears two golden rings around his main horns along with golden fleece over his burn markings. These are located on the last bend of the wings.

Okay, the appearance is basically finished, but maybe add something a bit different about him? (For example, for my OCs I usually add that they have a shorter snout than most or something, just to separate them a bit from the rest of their tribe)

But that's just a suggestion, lol.

Personality: Thaw is a calm and collected IceWing. At one point in his life he believed he was superior to the other tribes but that soon changed.

I like the development here, but why is it that it changed?

He's very gracious usually helping the defenseless and keeps to himself. He often is seen struggling to comes to turns calling himself a traitor to his tribe.

It's good, but, with a lot of OCs I see, it's slightly lacking detail. Overall, the only thing we really learn about him in general is that he's usually calm and collected, and gracious. That's not that many traits to work off of.

Additionally, he's missing some flaws, too. But worry about the lack of traits first, and then we'll get to evening out the positive and negative traits.

Backstory: Growing up he was more privileged than most. Since his birth and his family's connection to the military he was thought highly of and everyone knew he would be the next king. Reaching the second circle before his seventh birthday. He was very close with one of the lower circle dragonets named Eve. Nothing much sufficient happened for the next few years. When he turned fifteen one of the two princesses k!lled the queen taking her place. Queen Ivory (being the queen and all) took Thaw as a mate seeing him fit for king. He ruled on the sidelines helping to make important decisions before the war started. Then the SkyWing's accused the IceWings for k!ll!ng one of their young princesses . This led to war, during all this the Queen laid and egg which soon hatched their daughter. The queen being of a higher rank named her Opal. Fast forward a bit more Opal is now almost seven and the war had been going on for nearly nine years. Thaw goes to meet with the Queen Ember. The queen doesn't show up but instead sends her eldest daughter Robin. They threaten the IceWing army saying they will k!ll them in a heartbeat if they don't agree to surrender. Thaw sends his guards and Opal away before he refuses to sign the parchment. He is captured and kept prisoner near the MudWing border for the next year and a half. He meets a kind MudWing named Honeydew, she gives him all the information for the war and the two later become lovers. She lays five eggs without him knowing leaving them hidden away where a group of guardians from The Forsaken find them. Thaw leaves once he is freed and goes into hiding later dying from an attempt to get back to Ice Kingdom where on of the newest soldiers is ordered to k!ll him. The queen realized this was her lost mate but feels no mercy since he didn't sacrifice himself. He never met his other six dragonets or said goodbye to his dear Honeydew.