Time Period: 'Bout a dozen years before the books, and all throughout them
I think that's fair
Name: Icenight, it's a mixture between the two tribes she's apart of
I try to be the nicest I can when rating these forms, but you're already making it infuriatingly difficult.
This name is really bad. This name is like naming an Irish-American human "IrishAmerican."
It's bad.
Not to mention incredibly lazy. Don't you people at least try to research?
Why not Zebra, since they're black and white? Or Leopard (I know they're not exactly white, but it still has a paler color + black)? The gem Sodalite, even (they're not exactly black + white, but they're generally a deep rich blue that looks black + white)?
How about Houndstooth? Dalmatian?
Or, how about a regular IceWing or NightWing name? I can suggest more. Just don't name your Ice/Night "ICENIGHT" for heavens' sake.
Age: 37 years
Okay. Makes sense.
Gender: female
Okay.
Sexuality: Bisexual
Alright.
Tribe: Ice/Nightwings
I hate this hybrid with a fiery passion (especially Ice/Nights with the name ICENIGHT), but we'll see where this goes.
Queen They Support: Doesn't really care
Okay.
Abilities: survive freezing temperatures/ extreme light, breath frost breath, breath fire
No. Choose one or the other. Frostbreath, or fire breathing?
Aside from that, there must be something else. I'm overjoyed there are no moon powers, you've got no idea, but there can be little things. Maybe a slight chill radiating from her scales? Slight night vision? That weird bacteria thing that NightWings have? Any other additional skills or talents, like playing the guitar or an artist or something?
Rank: None, never lived in a tribe
Weird way to words things. And anyway; Icenight (oh god I hate that name) can still be an outcast or something.
But that's boring and overused. Why don't they live in a town or Possibility, even? Scorpion Den? There are other options.
Appearance: large, muscular, looks like a IceWing but her main body is black and her icicles are blue with bright blue eyes
Okay. At least you mentioned the structure and height and scale color and eye color. But still; details on the scale color would be nice. Like, NightWings aren't actually strictly black. They usually have like purple or blue hues in their scales. Have you seen Starflight's image on the WoF wiki? He looks — no offense, Starflight — beautiful because of all those hues.
I recommend adding some hues here and there — and a bit more detail. What separates her from all the other Ice/nights?
Personality: very cold-hearted, brave, loyal, observant, un-trusting, protective, temper, kind to a extent
Good lord, where are the rest of her traits? Where are all her negative traits?
Look up some good personality traits. Determined and ambitious would be good places to start — but add more. Add so much more.
YOU ARE READING
WoF OC Reviews
RandomWings of Fire OC Reviews! Not my original idea. (If you don't know what OCs are, they are "Original Characters") Also, yes, I'm aware - there are about two thousand of these kinds of books. I know. And probably nobody's going to see this book.
