WoF OC Reviews

Tundra

AU?: No

I'm telling you right now that this is definitely an alternate universe, and you probably should have marked it as such.

Era: Takes place around the winglets book Deserter, so yeah, in first arc basically.

Alright.

Name: Tundra (Yes I know this name is used a lot, but it fits her character.)

How does it fit her? I mean... because of her personality? I really hope it wasn't because of her appearance, because if it was, I have some news for you about what the rest of the IceWings look like.

Age: Ten years old

Okay.

Sexuality: Straight

Okay.

Tribe: IceWing

Icy. I love me a good icy.

Leader They Support: Queen Glacier, on Blaze's side in war

Makes sense.

Abilities: Normal IceWing abilities, freezing breath; ect

*etc lol sorry

Anyway, I like it. Normal abilities are cool.

Rank/Occupation: Sorta jumps around, isn't completely sure yet, probably warrior eventually.

She's... she's a princess. Like, don't get me wrong, warrior or whatever is cool and all (although I think the more accurate term would be "soldier"), and makes sense, but why is this so vague? She's a princess. All you have to put here is "princess, plans to be a soldier."

Appearance: Her scales are silvery, with blue fading tips on her horns, claws, tail-tip, and wing-tips. Her eyes are a piercing ice-blue. She used to wear a blue snowflake pendant, but destroyed it (more on that soon). Now just wears a simple dark blue cloak.

Honestly? This isn't very interesting. Silver, blue fade, icy eyes... she doesn't really stand out from the crowd. I know this sounds normal and I know I sound nitpicky, but like, IceWings' appearances can be very interesting and described nicely. Tundra looks like your average joe, lol.

Also, you should add her height, muscle mass, and weight.

Personality: She tries to act tough, but is truly sensitive. Tundra is extremely loyal to her brother, a bit sarcastic, quick to judge. However, once you get to know her, she's a passionate and loyal dragon.

Passionate. I hate that word. Why? Because everyone is passionate about something. It is so utterly vague and undescriptive it's impossible to compare it to anything else.

Regardless, everything else is so vague, too. She tries to act tough- what exactly does this mean? Does she pick fights? And what does "sensitive" mean? Because if you're going for what I think you're going for (which I'm not entirely sure of), the word you might be looking for is insecure.

Also, loyal to her brother? What's the limit? Why? Who is she quick to judge? What situations?

Additionally, you're lacking a lot of traits. Those are, like, six actual traits, only one of which being negative, and all of them are vague and nondescriptive.

Backstory: Tundra's mother, Permafrost, was killed by a SandWing on Burn's side back when she was a small dragonet. Her father, Evergreen, was an IceWing general and away fighting a lot, so Queen Glacier took her and her twin brother, Frostbite, in as her adoptive dragonets.