L Lawliet x reader head-canon oneshots 2 • DEATH NOTE [COMPLETED]

This boy means the world to me???

I just wanna talk about L for a bit ok?

I have lots of stupid feelings rn.

I don't know why, but this goddamn drawing that moves means more to me than like, anything else??? I've been stuck in a constant loop of stanning L for three years now and at his point he's taken over my life.

Like

I made this so I can take L with me wherever I go

(I know my wrists are tiny shhh)

Until I get my tattoo I'll stick with a bracelet, even then I'll probably still wear it bc he's like the only thing that makes me happy anymore.

And I also put a lot of my money into him, buying merch and this tattoo.

That's another thing, I love him enough to permanently tattoo him on my body and sit through hours of pain.

I genuinely only ever get seriously happy about him. Like???

School makes me crave death, I can't be bothered to get out of bed most days, I don't find anything fun anymore, I make up excuses to get out of going to sleepovers and parties because I don't feel comfortable there and I don't handle growing up well at all, and even though I'm grateful I have a family and a decent relationship with them, I've done some awful things in the past to them that have put major cracks in my family and I can never forgive myself for it, so what is there to be happy about?

I know it sounds really depressing but I never asked to be born but now I have to live??? And I'm stuck in a society driven by money??? What's the point???

It's probably not very healthy to rely on a fictional character for emotional support this much but I can't help it, he pretty much runs through my veins at this point.

I'm fully aware this guy isn't real and that makes me sad but just the fact some kind soul created him is good enough for me.

My point is, I want to appreciate the fact that even though he's not a real person, he manages to make me feel genuinely happy, something I don't feel that much anymore.

If he were real, even if he absolutely hated me, I'd be happy knowing he's alive and safe, knowing that even if he wanted me dead, he's out there, living his life.

My point of this little chapter:

Thank you L, for making me happy when nothing else does, thank you for existing. And if you were real, even if you hated me, I'd still care for you. Thanks for coming into my life.