The force in redemption | Kylo Ren x reader | ✔

Chapter 28, Explanations and apologies

/ First Person Protagonist POV /

I remained silent. Out of all the people in the galaxy, Kylo Ren being the one to enter my room and address to me was the last of my guesses, Kylo wasn't even in my assumptions. But yet, there he was, standing in front of me, with no expression in his face or eyes I could decipher. I hadn't processed what he had told me: We need to talk. Kylo wanted to talk to me? 

What could he possibly want to say to me? Apart from telling me how glad he is to see me leave and how he would never want an apprentice like me, I told myself. I knew deep down I was exaggerating with how much hatred Kylo could have towards me, but in the twisted and wrecking mind of his, anything was possible, and I had learned to expect the worse.

" Talk?" I whispered. I had never thought I'd find the courage to speak to him, with all the guilt consuming me. " What is there to talk about, Master Ren?" But the truth was, there was so much to talk about. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to apologize for. " Y/n, I- I came to inform you that you will be leaving tomorrow first thing in the morning." Kylo said. It had hurt me a little to know he had only came to tell me when I was leaving, off to become a living statue on The Supremacy.

 " It is no problem, Master Ren." I muttered. I called him by the official name I had to, I wouldn't give myself the benefit of calling him as my equal, because I was so much inferior to him, in every possible way. " I comprehend it is what you and 'important people' have agreed to."

Kylo paused and stared at me, as if he was in disbelief. " Y/n, you- you think I decided to send you to The Supremacy?" He asked in a shaky tone. I was taken back, of course I had expected him to be a part of that decision. I nodded slowly, and Kylo passed his gloved hand through his hair, breathing deeply. " Do you have... any idea why I've been gone all this time?" This time, his tone was rising, as if he was trying to prove a point which I disagreed on. " Y- you were on... a mission." I asserted slowly. 

" A mission?"

I couldn't be more confounded: everyone had told me Kylo was on a mission of some sort, but he appeared as surprised as I had been to hear that. " Y/n... I was in The Supremacy for over three months." Kylo replied, answering part of my doubt. Then why did everyone tell me otherwise?! I thought. Why did they all lie to me? I nodded slowly at what Kylo had just told me, but I still didn't understand why he had stated that, why had I to know if he was on a mission or on The Supremacy? Because either way, he had left. 

He took a couple steps inside the small living quarter, and it made me nervous. Kylo made me nervous, and I couldn't help it. " You have no idea why I was there, don't you?" He asked. I only stared and awaited answers. Answers I thought General Hux and Captain Phasma had gave me, but they had only lied. " Y/n... I never wanted you to leave The Finalizer." He finally said. My heart had stopped beating and all my senses had ceased to function, had I heard correctly? Kylo Ren didn't want me to leave... Then, why am I? I asked myself in despair. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, but I didn't have the bravery to.

" Snoke wanted it. I do not know why. Three months ago, y/n, I left to The Supremacy to try and reason with him. To try and convince him to continue your training." Kylo babbled out. 

My mind had stopped listening to him, the only thing I could think of was how Kylo had traveled for countless weeks, for me. How he had faced his master, to persuade him to keep me in The Finalizer. I felt myself revive. Some of the sorrow I had felt was being lifted off my heart, but there was still one thing pending. The biggest one of them all.

" Master Ren..." I whispered. He shifted uncomfortably as I only spoke his last name and his official status title. " I- I am sorry." I said, loudly, so he would know I was not ashamed to apologize, I knew I had to.

He walked towards me and placed a hand on my cheek, brushing away a tear I had not felt coming down. " Y/n." Was all he said before I abruptly stood up and wrapped my arms around his torso, leaning my head strongly against his chest. I had taken him by surprise, and I had surprised myself as well. " I am sorry, Kylo. I never should have let you in my mind. I-" But I didn't have time to finish, because Kylo had yet again pressed his soft, but cold lips against mine, and that was all that ever mattered to me.

I knew Kylo had seen the honesty in my apology, and how much it had tormented me to have kept silent when I wanted to beg for his forgiveness for months. I had missed him so much, I had missed his chestnut brown eyes and his curly black hair. I had yearned for his overpowering presence whenever I was with him, and for the sweet smile he rarely showed. 

" I'm so sorry." I whispered again as we broke off the caress. Kylo hadn't answered, but I knew he accepted my apology, and I would forever be grateful to him for that. I leaned my head on his chest to hear the soothing breathing of his heart, as he tangled his hand in my hair and leaned his head atop of mine. " No." Kylo said. " I'm the one who is sorry."

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For all those who awaited the hatred and sorrow to go away between our protagonist and Kylo: This chapter is for you!!!!!

I feel kind of sad now, because our protagonist is leaving to The Supremacy, right after making peace with Kylo, but I loved this chapter. I had to get something to cheer up the characters! It was beginning to be a bit bitter, don't you think?

Anyways! As always: Thank you again for reading the fanfiction! I hope you have a great time reading it as much as I have a great time writing it! Feedback and comments are always welcome! I love reading and responding to all of your opinions on the fanfiction!

Have a wonderful day/ night filled with happiness and laughter!

- Camille