The force in redemption | Kylo Ren x reader | ✔

Chapter 101, Aid

/ First Person Protagonist POV / 

I gulped, wanting to smile nervously, but decided not to. Man, is it too late to turn around and make a run for it? I tried joked to myself, in hopes to relieve the sudden wave of anxiousness that had overpowered me as I saw Kylo looking directly at me with a killer stare. As the mind of a child I sometimes, too often have: I took account of my physical state: I looked like a mess. Freshly escaped from the hospital, with a dirty hospital robe, bare feet, branch scratches on my legs and arms, leaves and twigs on my head- to sum it all up: I was a walking abomination, and I didn't want Kylo to see me like that, especially now that he was paying a lot of his visual attention to me.

I noticed I was just standing a couple inches outside the bronze doors, and that Kylo was still waiting with his arms crossed for me to walk in. Better not piss him off more than what he looks like. If stares could kill, I'd be obliterated right now, I sighted as I took the first couple precautious steps into the marble building. The heavy doors began closing behind me slowly, with the same low rumbling sound, and I waited until they were fully shut to move. 

" Kyl-" I began muttering, when I was interrupted by his coldness, " Knight y/n of Ren, follow me in silence." Kylo ordered as he turned on his heels and walked deeper into the marble building with his hands behind his back. I walked behind him and not next to him, realizing there were droids and storm troopers around, and a Knight of Ren could never walk as an equal to its master, so I trailed behind, glad that I had enough authority and status for passing by troopers not to dare glance my way. What they would see is a weird looking forest girl with a hospital robe, and I wasn't really fond of that thought.  

I internally rolled my eyes so much I was worried I had done it physically as well, but this was all too ridiculous. I hate having to pretend to be submitted to him, I huffed as a shiver ran up my spine, making me aware my feet were being turned into walking popsicles. Bloody Order, they always have cold floors, I lamented, but only complained mentally, and kept a straight face on the outside, as I had had so much practice doing, for a while now. 

Kylo was walking towards an area of the building I had only passed in front of a couple times through the same hallway we were in; the hallway that led to his living chambers. There was no one in the corridor, not even considering this was where Kylo was sleeping, the security level seemed decreased. Kylo walked towards a large black door that didn't fit well with the background of the white marble walls and entered a code, followed by a finger and facial recognition. 

Of course, the door has all these sorts of sensors, I commented as I strode close behind his tall figure as the black door retreated into the wall and we both walked in. Without a doubt, Kylo's living quarters were modern and huge. Geez, I didn't know there was a lounge this big in the building, I told myself as I contemplated the view of his staying apartment. 

" It's... very pretty." I whispered a little loudly and stared at the roof of the room, with all the modern looking lights. 

" Have you any idea of the gravity of what you've done, y/n?" Kylo huffed at me, completely ignoring my compliment to his room, which was most likely to happen, so I wasn't surprised.  " How is the only thing you can say after this is how pretty the room is?!" He asked in sarcastic disbelief. 

" To divert your anger, maybe? Was worth a shot." I shrugged, trying to play it cool.

" I'm not angry." Kylo responded. " I was really worried." Those last words had came out a little lower than the usual tone Kylo used: he wasn't used to saying those words, I could tell. I walked closer to him, all feelings of nervousness gone. " Sorry." I mumbled as I now stood only one or two feet from him. 

" How are you alive right now?" Kylo asked, startling me. " Pardon?" I stuttered. Definitely not the question I had expected to hear, I told myself in surprise. " You... escaped a hospital. And somehow you look unwounded." Kylo clarified, stopping to massage his forehead with the palm of his hand when he spoke. " You're right." Was all I could say, cause I honestly had no idea what to respond; not even I knew how I wasn't arduously suffering from the wound Leone Odan had inflicted. 

" I actually don't have the minor idea of how it happened, but I mysteriously do not feel the pain from the punctured lung you told me I had." I sort of lied, thinking about my conscience and how after the conversation with it, I had gained the strength to leave- escape the hospital. " I'm not even sure if the stab wound is still marked."

Kylo took a step towards me, lifting my head up with one of his gloved hands on my cheek, and his tired eyes stared right into my e/c ones. " Why'd you always have to be so reckless, y/n?" He muttered, pulling me into a hug, with one of his hands behind my head and the other at my hip. Kylo's chin found its way nestled on my neck. 

I leaned my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and synchronizing my breath to the rise and falling of his breathing. " Stop being so dumb sometimes." Kylo whispered. I didn't respond, or feel insulted by his comment, because Kylo didn't want to make me feel remorse for escaping a hospital, I knew he was worried, and this was the way of him telling me never to do something like that again. 

" Sorry." I muttered. " But I wouldn't have escaped the hospital if it wasn't urgent."

We both ended the embrace at the same time, Kylo looking at me with his same sleepless eyes, which I could now see the dark circles underneath from lack of sleep. " Urgent?" He repeated as he walked away and leaned on a polished counter. I nodded and took a seat on a chair in front of him a couple yards away. 

" I... was thinking about stuff." I stuttered, my heartbeat rate increasing and my hands becoming sweaty. 

" You're going to have to be more specific than that, you know?" Kylo said, almost as a joke, but he knew wherever this conversation was going, it was going to be serious. " So as I said, I had time to actually think about other things other than Knight of Ren duties and my fighting strategies. And I chose to take the time to ponder. I found moments in which I was subconscious in some way?" I babbled out, probably not making any sense. 

" I thought about myself, for the first time in very long." I said, this time almost as a whisper. " What I wanted to do, who I wanted to be." 

" Y/n, where are you going with this?" Kylo interrupted as I took a pause from speaking. I stood up and walked towards him, reaching for his gloved hand, and held it tightly with both of mine. 

" I need to know exactly who I am, because the person I am now feels...wrong. I think we both know it isn't an unfortunate coincidence I don't have any recollection of my life." I stated firmly. " And I need you to access my memories." 

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HAH. If you remember, last time Kylo tried accessing y/n's memories, things didn't go as planned between the two of them...

I find this ending to be really, really, REALLY cheesy. Too cheesy. But I have no other way to end it, so please excuse me. ( That's like, a message to myself though, cause I'm a little mad at myself for ending it in such a way, but I'll get used to it, and I'll end up liking it, hopefully.) 

I also want to apologize for leaving you on suspense for a couple of days, but I was away from all technology for the whole weekend...

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And I can't wait to share what will happen next! I'm super excited for everything that will be unraveled in the next couple of chapters! 

Stay jolly!

- Camille