Epiphany

⇞ remorse ⇞

NAZERETH

"Where is she?" I yelled looking at the injured guards with their head hung low.

She can't be gone, she can't escape. The spy from the other end hasn't arrived yet, she can't leave, she is the Queen.

More people of Zyphira were arriving and I felt uncomfortable with the crowd. I was at constant unease and I wanted to find peace.

"Azer, he is here," Darren said looking at me with a guarded expression.

The spy I placed inside Udairis came to me and bowed.

"Sir, this is the message we received from the Queen." He gave me with slip and my heart ripped in pain.

False information.

She sent a made-up story as her spy work.

"Leave," I said in a low tone and he did but Darren stayed.

I fell on my knees as remorse, regret everything came to hit me hard.

And now she was gone, someone helped her escape? Was she alive? Was she well?

"You are in love," Darren said in a dry tone.

I looked up and felt that without even realizing tears have rolled down my eyes.

I wanted to get up and deny strongly to what he said but I couldn't.

My lips wouldn't work. Anger flooded my sense, anger at myself for making the mistake, anger at her for not defending herself, anger at King of Udairis for breaking my power to trust and anger at my words I used to hurt her.

Someone was clawing my heart inside my chest as I realized I might not find her now. I might have lost my only chance to survive even if it was with a woman who reminded me of my loss and pain.

She was nothing but good to me and I was nothing but heartless to her.

"Why would you do that to her? She has been here for more than a year and she never did anything to hurt you?" Darren surprised me with his angry tone.

"I can't trust Darren, every time I realize I have a feeling for her, several other reasons form in my mind why I shouldn't. I can't afford to be happy." I yelled at him venting out my anger on one person who probably cared about me now.

"You probably broke her now," Darren said siding with her.

"You are supposed to be my friend."

"And I can't see you torture yourself like this." He snapped like he was frustrated with me," I know Dalia is gone now and it has been hard for both of us. But it doesn't mean you can't love again Azer."

Everything flashed before my eyes like my own regret book, how I hurt her physically, emotionally and every way possible. The time she was my archery target, the time I used my fire on her, she walked on burning coals for me and how I scolded her for every little thing, blamed her for every little thing.

Her smile, her trust filled eyes for me, her little tricks to be angry with me I missed it, I missed it so much that it made my heart tremble within me.

"I told her I am marrying Odette," I said feeling disgusted towards myself for hurting her like this in anger I felt at her betraying me when all she did was protecting me.

Darren just inhaled sharply at my words.

I buried my hands in my head. I closed my eyes and I could picture her clearly in my head. Her drunk antics, her lips on mine, her heat that washed over me when she was surrendering herself to me not even asking anything in return. She was ready to be my shield, to take my pain away.