Epiphany

⇞ secrets ⇞

I was practicing with Morel when I heard the familiar footsteps early in the morning. My heart rate picked up but I kept concentrating on balancing my soul energy. If Nazereth can control his Firepower I can handle my power as well. 

But as he got closer, his fragrance, his feelings, his emotions overpowered my senses.

A fear lurked inside my hurt which no one will understand for me, what if he doesn't trust me again. What if in time of despair he would choose killing for revenge over me, what if he will hate me after knowing my reality?

Queen, you are stressing again.

"Zephora." He called out softly and I tried to remember all the reasons to not just give in.

I kept my eyes closed and tried to feel every fiber of my soul, the power it held, the light and dark part of it but somehow my focus was on his soul now. It was as if I could see his soul like mine. I could feel his worries, his stress, his anger and that sorely persistent pain that my made my heart wrench.

And yet when my opened my eyes, there was warmth, for the little black coal in the center it was almost hot fire, a fire that sent shivers through my body as if the flame-licked my skin.

I sighed as I saw his face right in front of me, my whole point of focusing now destroyed.

"Yes?" I said in a calm tone, unlike my heart.

"What are you doing?" He asked genuinely curious.

I am the spirit-princess and I am trying to hon my power. I am trying to learn to live with everything I feel triple to what others feel.

"Mediating, for peace of mind," I said lying escaping my mouth.

Queen, now is the time you tell him.

"Do Blood Assasins all mediate?"He said with a scoff like meditating can bring no peace.

Maybe he tried.

"No, it's just for those who end my waking several times at night crying in misery."

Or those whose memories have been fuddled since childhood or those who suffered so much pain in their childhood that they wanted to forget a part of it but then suffered as slaves.

The wave of agony from Nazereth hit me and I looked at him. He clearly looked guilty.

He ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated gesture but I found it attractive.

I cleared my throat at the thoughts building inside me.

"I wish we didn't meet in such horrible circumstances." He said in a soft tone.

We didn't meet in horrible circumstances, we met as kids where you showed me fireflies to guide me.

"We wouldn't have met then," I said in a regretful tone.

He realized what he said because before me there was Dalia who held his heart, maybe some part of him was still there.

"All you did was take my pain and all I did was hurt you. Now It's my turn to protect you. Let me do that Zephora."

I waited in silence at his words and their weight on me.

He wanted to protect me and those words made me feel safe, feel like I had a home. I wanted to just nod my head and follow him along wherever he goes but I couldn't now. I was hesitating after having my heart shredded to pieces.

"I was a slave," I said trying to change the course of the topic.

He sat down right next to me not speaking a word and not even looking at me which somewhat brought me ease.