Synergy

Seventy-nine

"I took his hand."

Ela's pov

Bone crushing, heart splintering, life oppressive pain wasn't even close to the feeling I felt when he walked away.

Not for the next three weeks too. I slept every free moment I had. The rest I spent plastering on a fake smile and pretending to be happy when I wasn't even remotely interested.

"Ela hun, please try and just and let yourself be happy. Even if its just for this quick fan meet and greet. Okay? Please just try."

I only nodded because that was the only energy I had. I was so tired. I was so tired all the time.

She gave me a tight nod in reply before turning to the group of fans who were just being let inside the small room.

And I tried so hard to just be happy. The fans usually always did the trick. But not this time. Not when I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. Not when I couldn't stop thinking about him and how I hurt him and how I will never be forgiven and how we were over.

My fingers ached with each signature. I felt sickly guilty as fans asked me questions and I could barely choke out a response. They deserved more. I ruin everything I come near.

The only shred of peace I felt was knowing that I can no longer hurt Harry. I set him free and no longer can my decisions ruin his day to day life. That, I felt somewhat good about.

"Ela! Thank you so much for signing that! You are my favorite and I look up to you so so so much. Really I do!" The cutest girl with curly black here and brown eyes gave me the most sincere smile of a lifetime.

I felt sick. She looked up to me? Does she know what type of person I am? Could she fathom the hurt I've done to so many.

"Thank you." Her smile faltered at my forced tone and more than ever I wanted to bury myself in a hole.

"Are you and Harry back together yet? I just love you two together. I really do."

And all at once the tears threatened to spill. All at once the emotions banded together and pounded against my heart with enough strength to knock me over.

"Nah she's too obsessed with me."

My eyes never left the curly haired little girl. I watched her face as Jake pulled up a chair next to me.

"Jake!! Oh my goodness. I didn't- I didn't know that you would be here too! I just love your solo in Flyer so much! I really do!'

I gripped my pen hard enough to break the bones in my hand. Hopefully that pain would distract me from my thoughts.

"Thanks babe." He took her picture, signed it, and sent her on her way.

"Well you've hit rock bottom."

He meant to ease the tension but his words honestly had no effect on me.

"Hey, hey, hey." He gently pried my stone gripped fingers off of the pen. "What'd that pen do to ya? Cut him some slack."

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding in.

"You're mad cause I called the pen a him. It can be a girl. I know Baselines into girl power and shit. No biggie."

"Jake. I'm sorry but I'm not ready for your jokes. I just want to leave. I want to go."

He didn't falter. "Then let's go."