Stealing The Bad Boy's Heart

I felt guilty as hell

Damon's POV

I couldn't talk to Bailey after what happened a couple of seconds ago, more precisely after what Shay helped me remember a couple of seconds ago. I knew that I would remember this conversation for a very long time  and it would pop into my mind multiple times for sure. Here it goes again.

"Hey jerk. Why did you call me to talk in private?" asked Shay flipping her hair and looking at me with disgust.

"I remember you from somewhere, but I don't remember from where and how. I called you because you seem like the type of person who talks a lot and sometimes they even say things that shouldn't have been said."

"Listen you, weirdo, if you have done something, then it has to be said and I don't care what you think about me, moreover, after what you've done to my cousin. Now excuse me I have to go."

I couldn't understand what she was talking about. Everything she told me felt like dots I couldn't connect.

"Wait. You said your name was Shay, right? What do you mean after what I've done to your sister? What have I done though? We just got closer this semester and I have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe you're confusing me with someone else?"

"Are you kidding me now? To begin with, I NEVER and I repeat NEVER confuse people because I have a PERFECT facial memory and also, as I said, you hurt my cousin, which means you hurt me, so yeah I do remember you," she said pointing at me every time she said "you".

"Okay, I get it,  you're mad, but can you  explain me why though? I still don't know what you're talking about. You're just wasting time here standing and throwing offenses at me," I said trying to show her that I wasn't doing it intentionally and I really didn't know what she was talking about.

"So you really don't remember, huh? You and that jerk Lucas played with Bailey's feelings in the past, when you were studying in high school together. Still doesn't ring a bell?" she said expecting an answer from me.

I was actually shocked because I didn't remember anything like that.

"What do you mean played? I mean, yeah, we played with the feelings of many girls, but Bailey wasn't one of them. Damn, I didn't even study with her during those years. So stop with the bullshit," I wanted to literally leave the conversation when she caught my arm and stopped me from doing that.

"Now listen to me, jerk, the conversation isn't over until I say so and don't act dumb here. You made a bet on who would be able to make "The fatty" fall in love with you guys and then you would embarrass her in front of the whole school. And that's what you guys did, but unfortunately for himself, Lucas really did fall for her. But who cares about you guys anyway? You had to suffer a lot, you had to suffer so much until you understood what hurting feelings feels like. Because you know what? Bailey's still suffering after that incident and the fact that she let you get close to her just proves how strong she is and how much she still believes that people change. Unfortunately, I don't and let me just tell you this, I don't know what's happening between you two and I don't know what kind of a relationship you have, but I won't support it. Did you hear that? I will oppose the relationship as much as I can and I will constantly remind her not to trust you EVER and not to like you or whatever, EVER, EVER...again..."

I was speechless, I couldn't bring myself to say something, because, really, what could I say at the moment? Nothing could be changed for sure and I honestly didn't know how to process it, because I didn't want to. I didn't want to believe that that was what happened. I remembered what Shay told me, but not completely, as I've done those things so much in the past that I don't even remember all the girls I've done this to.

I had to think about all of this, I had to process and analyze this. I just decided to leave and be alone for the time being.

No wonder I didn't recognize her now, she has changed so much. But thinking about it again, I also don't understand how I didn't recognize her, she might've changed in terms of weight, character and stuff, but her eyes didn't.

She still had the same expression in her eyes when she got sad, her eyes looked down when she was shy the same way they did before...

I had so many questions that I wanted to ask her, so many things that I wanted to tell her.

She knew about this all of this time and didn't tell me. Why? She decided to trust me again. Why? WHY?WHY?WHY?!!

I was so angry with myself that I didn't know where to get away from myself. I felt angry, I felt hurt, I felt guilty.

GUILT ate me on the on the inside. I felt like it was gonna it me alive, if I didn't stop it anytime soon. And I wasn't even going to stop it, because I deserved it and because she didn't deserve it.

I knew that I would regret it even more in the future, because there was something I didn't want to think about right now, because if I did, I would've done something to myself for sure.

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Published on 8.06.2020