destruction | t.m.r

chapter thirty.

I was shivering, cold was picking at every inch of my exposed skin. Day was slowly, but surely turning into night as I stood next to the Black lake. My body somehow was not responding to my thoughts, I wanted to move, I wanted to yell and go running after the boy.

I wanted to hurt him in the way he hurt me.

But I couldn't. Only after I started to see my breath I moved to the not so warmer part of the castle. I didn't want people to see me, to see the crying girl that looked lost and broken. My back collided with the stone wall, my knees wobbled for a second before letting me hit the floor.

Lyalls words stabbed me over and over again. It felt like they were hitting the same spot that's why they hurt so effectively. "You are worthless. I'm worthless." I breath out, the words shaked. They were in no way so strong as when the boy spoke them.

There was a presence near me. It belong to no human being, maybe that's why I didn't wipe away my tears. Looking up I saw a woman, she was a ghost. A stunning woman that even in her white form shined brightly. Helena Rawenclaw. "Are you lost darling?" She spoke slowly, her speech was unfamiliar, old. "I'm not, no." I spoke with a raspy voice.

"I know that you, young pupils do not like to talk about your emotions, but can I help you in any way?" She once again asked. Her figure was floating over me. Her words were coated in silk, her own voice the definition of luxury. "I would rather not for it's a silly matter. Thank you for concerning yourself, but can I ask you, why are you talking to me as I'm not from the raven house." I said, house ghost are not friendly to students that don't belong to their house.

"I can sense your strong spirit, your thirst for knowledge. There is no stronger weapon to people then their own mind." She went to touch me, as you know ghost can easily go right though any object, but I felt her fingers. I felt her touch, but being so tired I blame it on illusion of tiredness.

Helena Rawenclaw even if she did notice, she only kept smiling. Her head was empty, for a daughter of a house leader she must have some kind of jewelry. Or a crown.....The diadem, the one she took from her mother, the one that caused her own death and the splitting of Tom Riddles soul in two.

"Where is you diadem, the on you stole from your mother?" I asked now wiping the tears away. I was holding my breath, a hope of her not giving it already to Tom was small. "I do not have it in my possession no more." Hers once smiling face turned into a sad one.

"Why did you give it to him?" I asked her, she did not bother with the thought of me knowing to whom she gave it. "He was so flattering, understanding." She said in a dream like voice and I shaked my head. Now, Tom is going to split his soul. Maybe he already did it without me knowing.

"You know the boy?" She asked in a whisper, like she was afraid of him hearing. "Yes, at least I hope I do." And when my face went red and somehow even more sad she knew. "He's the reason you shed your tears." She connected the dots, at least some. "One of the reasons." I chuckled.

"Have you ever been in love Helena? Do you know what love is?" I asked. I must know, I must. I do not know my own feelings, somehow to distinguish the love and just liking someone is so trublesome. "People think of love as poetic, but it's not. Love starts and ends and nothing ever ends poetically. The love ends and we turn it into poetry. Sometimes you can look at love like a blood of someone. Loves go and come, just like the spilled blood. I learned the hard was that love is never beautiful. Just like the blood that was never once beautiful. It was just red. Maybe that's why the associate that colour to the love." As the ghost spoke, she was slowly walking away.

Helena Rawenclaw does know what love is, but hers ended quickly and in a lot of blood, hers blood.

Then I started walking. I could hear yelling coming behind me. "Peeves, I will have you killed again." The voice of Bloody Baron was coming closer and closer to me. "You can't kill me, for your info I'm already dead old man." Peeves just now flew right next to me, taking of his clown hat to great me I gave him a little wave.

"And what are you doing here?" Now Bloody Baron was floating next to me. I couldn't even speak one word because he started again. "I will not have anybody from my house walking around past the curfew now go on."   
My body didn't want to move and the ghost was getting angry. "Are you deaf woman! Go to your dormitory." He yelled and I flinched back. He cannot hurt you I thought, but the image of Helenas touch flashed before my eyes.

Footsteps rang behind us, and once both I and the Bloody Baron turned around we saw a shadowy figure coming closer. Tom was walking towards us. "What is this! Two of my students out past the curfew. Go to your dungeon immediately!" The ghost must have looked red even if you couldn't see the colours.

I just covered my ears as the ghost went on and on, he will wake the whole castle up!. "You better go before I tell Gray Lady that you are here." Tom said in a calm voice and the expression on Barons face changed in a second.

"How dare you, you filthy." He could not finish his sentence because Peeves came flying over our heads while having small potions in his hands and out of nowhere he threw all on the Bloody Baron that now started to change outfits.

"PEEVES!" He yelled so loudly at the portraits shaked a little and flew away, following the clown ghost. "What happend?" Tom asked while walking towards me and I just shaked my head. "Too much." I breathed out and in silence we walked towards our dormitorys.

He was quite as usual, my eyes kept wandering around his face, looking for a change of a split soul, but he looked the same. "Why are you looking at me?" He asked as we entered the common room. I felt my face get flustered. Red. The colour of love. I said a small sorry and went running towards the dormitory where girls were fast asleep.

I slide into the warm bed and think of the only person that can help me in this moment. The one that sent me here in the first place.

Albus Dumbledore and I will have a conversation tomorrow.