Lost in reality

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I hate how Charlie thinks he can take advantage of me. He just throws me around like a used ragdoll. I feel thrown away like a used rolled up piece of paper. By the end of it, I'm shamble of what I was. So I made up my mind that today would be the day I leave Charlie. "As soon as he comes through that door, it's over and I'm gonna tell him why." I said.

I sat on the couch waiting for Charlie. His touring schedule was too much for me even though I thought I could handle it. I should've said no when he asked me to be his girlfriend. And besides, it's not like I walked up to him and threatened to leave Charlie over and over again. I always kept quiet because he would always change my mind. Either with an apology dinner, or a apology song or something. But I should be strong and just tell him that-

My thoughts were interuppted with the door opening. "Hey yn, gotta hit the studio." He said rushing down the basement. I rolled my eyes. "How was day Charlie?" I murmured sarcastically. Later that night, Charlie was still downstairs in the basement working on music while I was just trying to get some sleep for work. My mind started racing with pictures of Charlie's smile and laughter. And that one time we were at the lake and Charlie and I just talked like we hadn't had in a while.

I smiled at those thoughts as I rolled over and just tried to imagine Charlie was right next to me. Even though he wasn't. Sure our relationship was and still is kinda bittersweet, but I really do enjoy Charlie's company. I guess maybe I could try harder not be so in tune with his mistakes all the time. The next morning I woke up and Charlie wasn't in bed. I went downstairs and found him sleeping on the couch. I gently shook him awake. "Charlie wake up. Don't you have a interview to go to. "Oh yeah, thanks for waking me up."

He instantly jumped up from the couch and gave me a quick kiss. He ran upstairs and grabbed his bags before heading out the door. "Bye! Love you babe! See you in couple days or weeks."

I waved to him while he was going out the door. I laid on the couch just trying to decide what I wanted for breakfast. Later on that day when it started getting dark, Charlie came back because he said his flight was cancelled so he was gonna have to leave tommorow. We ordered a pizza 🍕 and we watched a movie together. "At midnight I gotta go." Charlie said. When midnight came me and Charlie said goodbye under the streetlights by the airport. "I love you yn."

"I love you too Charlie."

Charlie and I kissed before he departed through the airports door. I just counted the days Charlie would be back. And this time I'll have a better state of mind that's less selfish. I've got to put myself out there for Charlie. Just like how he was for me and I was just to blind to see it. I guess I was just lost in reality. I started walking back home with that thought in mind.


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