Carl Grimes One Shots (carl x reader)

Don't Say You Love Me

Guess who got another idea off of Pinterest! This one was just a sentence and it made me think of this lol. 

Warning: mentions of suicide/depression/anxiety

Word Count (including bold text): 1697

"It's going to be okay," I whisper into Carl's shoulder, wrapping my arms around him. He squeezes me tight and my neck muffles his sobs. I rub his back a bit and close my eyes. I hate seeing Carl so sad. "What's wrong?" I ask when his tears slow down. He doesn't answer me, only grips me tighter so I do the same. 

After a while he finally releases me and looks into my eyes. "I almost did it Y/N. I almost..." Tears slip down his cheeks again. 

"You almost what?" I whisper. He slowly reaches into his pocket and opens his hand towards me. My stomach flips as I see what it is. At least two dozen pills sit in the palm of his hand. My mouth opens in shock and I snatch the pills out of his hand, throwing them in the trash. "Carl, why?" Now I'm the one crying and latching onto Carl. He put his hand behind my thighs, lifts me up, and places me on the bed so I'm sitting on his lap. "Please don't," I whisper. "Please. If you ever feel like this... just please come find me. I'm here for you Carl. I'm always here." I cry into his shoulder as he wraps his arms around my waist. "Carl, I love you so much-"

"Don't say you love me," Carl says calmly.

I lift my head from his shoulder and stare at him.

"I'm a fuck up. I'm a depressed, anxious fuck up! I don't want you to have to deal with me anymore, Y/N. You don't deserve that. I feel like I just can't do this anymore."

"Don't say that about yourself Carl Grimes!" I yell. "You know damn well how much you mean to me. Carl, you have to find a reason to push through. To live." 

His forehead rests on mine and he whispers, "you are my reason. When I almost did it, I thought of you. Your smile. Your laugh. Your eyes. You. I couldn't be without you, Y/N." He kisses my nose. "But I can't live like this. I don't know what to do-"

"Stay with me. That's what you need to do, Carl," I demand, grabbing his face in my hands. I wipe the remaining tears from his eyes. Suddenly there was a knock on the bedroom door. Carl starts to stand up but I push him down again gently. "I got it, it's okay." As I get up I see Carl quickly rubbing his eyes to try to make it look like he was okay. "Carl," I say and he stops. 

I open the door slightly to see Enid. "Hey," she says. 

"Hey!" I reply a little too happy. "What's up?"

"Um, Maggie told me to tell you guys that Deanna is hosting a party at her house and everyone is welcome to come."

"Oh, okay. When?"

"In about an hour. See you there?"

"Definitely! Thanks, Enid."

"Is Carl here too?" Enid asks trying to peek around me. I adjust myself so she wouldn't be able to see him. I know Carl would be uncomfortable right now. 

"Not right now, I haven't seen him. I think he's helping Rick with something. Why?"

"Oh, I was just going to return a comic I borrowed. But thanks anyway!" She says with a smile.

"Yeah, no problem! If I see him I'll let you know. See you later!" I smile back and she walks away. I shut the door and sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hide you," I tell Carl. "I just thought you would be uncomfortable."

"No, I understand. I'm glad you did. You know me too well, Y/N." He opens his arms for me and I jump in them returning to our original position. "So a party?"