hate this life

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warning: kinda sad idk

when corbyn said he was going outside to stargaze, nobody really questioned it. he had an immense love for outer space and regularly told stories of the constellations and planets. little did anyone know, the stars weren't out tonight. the sky was dark and empty, not even the moon could be seen.

instead the blond sat and stared out into nothingness. his eyes were fixed on the palm trees, but his focus was else where. once it hit two, he knew (or at least he thought) everyone would surely be asleep. they had promo tomorrow which called for waking up right as the sun rose over the hills.

a sudden sob, rattled through his body. he stared down at the concrete stairs, watching them become darker and darker due to the fallen tears. he choked back another sob, slapping his hand over his mouth in attempt to catch it. maybe nobody was awake, but he didn't want to risk it.

he was twenty one years old, sitting outside, crying over his life. he felt pathetic. but oh how he hated the dreadful life he had to live. waking up early, constantly getting hate, not having breaks, not having privacy, being controlled around, not having a say in anything that happened; it wasn't what he wanted. maybe waking up in a new city or even country everyday was cool, but he couldn't handle it. he had nowhere to adjust to, no constant place to call home.

he grabbed his hoodie, ripping it off of his body. the sight of the why don't we logo made him cringe as he chucked the clothing article on to the grass. "i can't do this," he choked out. he pulled up the bottom of his white shirt to wipe away the tears, but it was useless as they kept on falling.

as if his night (or life) wasn't bad enough already, the sudden shock of the floodlight turning on, sent him into panic. he'd been caught. fuck.

a million thoughts raced through his head as the possible outcomes racked his brain. he'd be forced to explain to whoever was coming outside, why he was sitting on the steps, crying his little heart out. the presence moving behind didn't say a word. they sat themselves beside him and that's when he could tell who it was. daniel.

he could feel daniel's arm draped around his shoulders, tugging him into his side. the action made him cry harder though and he didn't even know why. he regretted throwing his hoodie across the yard; he could've used it to hide his tears. "i got you," daniel whispered.

"no!" corbyn clawed at his bloodshot eyes, begging for the waterworks to stop. grow up corbyn, he told himself. "i-i don't want this anymore!" he yelled. although daniel didn't exactly know what the blond was talking about, he didn't pressure him further. he knew that wasn't going to calm him down. instead he rested his head against the top of corbyn's, cheek suffocated in the blond fluff of hair.  "i want a new life," corbyn sniffled.

"corb..." daniel trailed off. he slipped his hand under corbyn's shirt, rubbing his hand against the spine of his back. "why do you want a new life? do you want to talk about it?" he questioned. he took notice to their merch, lazily thrown in the grass and sighed.

"i'm tired daniel," he admitted through his tears. "i can't keep going on like this, it hurts too much. i don't want this stupid band anymore or the fame. i'm not strong enough," he said shakily.

daniel eyes widened, "corbyn you are so much stronger than you think! you hear me? i know it's stressf-"

"you don't understand, i can't do this!" corbyn sobbed. his lips trembled as he felt his body weaken, "i-i won't do this anymore. nothing is getting better! why isn't it getting better!" he screamed out to the world. his voice was echoing through the outdoors. it was as if the whole universe could hear him.

"alright, alright," daniel grabbed his collapsing body, tightly holding the boy as he rocked him slowly, "shh, breathe." his hands continuously roamed through corbyn's hair, pressing a light kiss the his temple every now and again. footsteps were heard from inside, shuffling throughout the house, probably curious and worried as to what was happening. corbyn surely had woken up the whole house by now. "i have you corbyn. i'm not letting you go, alright," daniel soothed.

it seemed like the two sat out there for hours. the only sounds to be heard were corbyn's sniffles and daniel's soft hushes.

"you want to head up to bed and we'll talk more in the morning?" daniel asked, but corbyn was practically asleep by now, all worn out from crying. he sighed, "let's get you to sleep." carefully daniel hoisted corbyn up to his feet, tightly gripping under his arms to keep him steady. corbyn's legs were barely capable of moving, but the two boys managed to stumble inside the house. the atmosphere inside was filled with tension as the other three boys stared them down.

"what's going on guys?" zach asked nervously, gnawing on the tips of his finger nails out of habit.

daniel shushed him, shaking his head. "dani," corbyn whispered, trying to pull away from the male.

"no stay here corb," he held him tighter, "i'll talk with you guys later," he said looking to the other boys.

when they reached the blond's room, daniel hauled the tired boy up on to his bed. he pulled of his shoes for him, setting them by the rest of his sneakers.

"night bub. if you wake up and need me, you're more than welcome to
come in with me," he assured. he give the boy a sympathetic smile, kneeling down in front of the nightstand. "sweet dreams my love," he brushed his hand through his golden locks, pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead.

daniel stayed a few extra minutes until corbyn was officially asleep. he knew the morning would bring its challenges, but right now they were at peace and corbyn was safely tucked in his warm bed. that's all daniel cared about.

"i hate seeing you hurt," daniel whispered as softly as possible. he continued to play with his hair, twisting a small strand of it around his curled finger every once in a while.

"i love you endlessly corbyn. i truly do."

[a/n]
school is a bitch and like always i wanna drop out of spanishhh

how was you guys day? ❤️

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