NCT Imagines [AMBW]

your name hurts

"Wow. He has another girlfriend? Or is he cheating? Y/n. What happened with you two?"

Flashback~

"Do you even love me anymore?" I said with tears streaming down my face. "Y/n, I do. I just got caught up and we kissed. I missed you, you left me. I needed someone to comfort me." Jaemin put his hands up to hug me but I pushed him back "Fuck you. You can't love me. You go to some girl to comfort you. You know I was only leaving for a little while, yet you still hurt me. I'm bragging to everyone about you, how great you are, and you're cheating on me." "I'm sorry. Just please. I won't do it anymore." "You're right, you won't because we're done." 

End of Flashback~

"We just had a mutual breakup that's all. We just decided that it would be best for us to separate."

I see you all the time, and I don't even know how. I don't want to see you. It hurts to see you. You look so fucking happy while I cry everyday about what happened. You act like nothing happened. You act like we weren't together for 6 years. You act like you didn't cheat. 

You always have a new girl on your arm. I don't even know them but I hate each one of them. They get the special attention that you used to give me. The way you touch them, hold their hands, even kiss them, it reminds me of when we were together. I hate it so much.

People always ask "What happened to that guy you were dating? What's his name again?" I can't even bring myself to say your name anymore. I used to love saying it but now it's like a stab to the chest when I just so much as hear it. 

Everything that we've been through together has gone down the drain. Why did you have to cheat on me. You were my everything, why Jaemin? Why did you have to mess around with her?

I'm not saying that I regret dating you. I just wish we would've stayed friends in the first place.

But everything changed when you came up to me a few days ago. You asked how I was doing. You told me that you regretted what you did and that you wanted to start over. You apologized, you cried, you almost fell out. I told you that I wanted nothing to do with you...

So why am I laying in your bed right now? Cuddled against your chest, smiling like an idiot. Why do you have this effect on me? I didn't want to but somehow we ended up in this situation.

I wanted nothing to do with you. So why am I still here? Why do I still care about you? Why does your name still have an effect on me?

I think it's time for you to get a taste of your medicine. I'm leaving, for good this time. So that way you can mess around with all the women you want to mess around with. 

I hope when I'm gone, my name hurt you as much as yours hurt me.