You, Amy, Rosa, Charles and Gina were stood in the lock-up, the drugs being weighed.
"20.2 kilos" you said.
"I feel like we could round up to 21 though" Amy said.
"Or, we could round down to 20, and take the extra 0.2 and sell it to our friends" Gina said, leaning against one of the walls.
"I'll call the D.A. Rosa, log this in. Charles and y/n, maybe watch Gina" Amy said, walking out of the room.
"So, what are you doing tonight?" Rosa asked Charles.
"Nothing. What about you ... are you doing tonight?" Charles said.
"Nothing" Rosa said.
"Carlene" Gina loud whispered to Charles.
"Whelp, I hope you find something to do" Charles said, chuckling. "I'm gonna pee. That's what I'm doing tonight."
You groaned. "Charles, we do not need every single detail of your pee schedule."
------------------------
"So, here are my options"Jake said, stood at the front of the briefing room, the detectives all sat in the desks in front of him and the whiteboard, which had a sloppily drawn table on with two titles: Don't Arrest and Do Arrest.
"One, I process Podolski's kid, he fires me, and I spend the rest of my career as a detective, third grade, which is literally pathetic. No offence, Hitchcock" Jake said.
"None taken" Hitchcock said.
"Option two, I let him walk and I spend the rest of my life with Holt and y/n as my babysitters" Jake said. "When I think about spending the rest of my life with a babysitter, she's kind of a cute blonde named Erica and always has pizza money and lets me stay up as late as I want."
"How old are you in this scenario?" you asked. "And what's wrong with having me as a babysitter?"
"Nothing is wrong with having y/n as a babysitter. Anyway, the point is Holt cares more about whether I 'do my job right' than whether I have a job at all" Jake said. "So, I'm taking suggestions."
"I say piss off Holt so we get to watch your career end right in front of us" Amy said.
"Thank you for that" Jake said, turning around to face the whiteboard, taking the lid off his pen as he did. "I'm gonna put you down for don't arrest. I'm also gonna put your phone number in every urinal in Brooklyn."
"Don't arrest him, just smack him. Hard. With a phone on a body part no one can see, you know?" Rosa suggested.
"So, you're suggesting police brutality?" you said.
"Ha, ha, I guess so, yeah. Why?"
"Hey, Scully" Jake shouted to Scully, who was stood in the doorway of the briefing room.
"Yeah?" Scully said.
"You want this caller? Paperwork's all done and it's perfect" Jake asked the detective.
"The Podolski kid? Are you kidding? I just gave him my lunch" Scully said, walking back to his desk.
"Okay. Boyle, l/n, what do you think?" Jake asked you and Charles, who were sat next to each other.
"I think don't arrest, give him a warning and if he does it again, then arrest him" you said.
"I don't know, man. I'm lost. The universe is a cruel and vexing puzzle. I'm at the whim of the cosmos" Charles said sadly from his chair.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
