Captain Peralta Part 1

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"Jake, you gotta see this. There's something going on here. Something a little... Hairy" said Charles, turning away from his computer, showing Jake his mustache and beard. 

"Nope. Don't see anything out of the ordinary" said Jake as you looked up.

"Really?" asked Charles. "Well, maybe I should... Frame the question differently. Terry, do you notice anything?"

Terry shook his head.

"Amy?" Charles asked.

"New shirt?" guessed Amy.

Charles stood up. "Oh, come on, guys. I grew a goatee, and it looks amazing, and I know you can see it."

"Of course, we can see it, Charles" Rosa said.

"It's horrible" you added.

"It looks like you unclogged a shower drain with your mouth" said Gina.

"Yeah, you look exactly like the guy in the 'Don't talk to strangers' poster" said Jake.

"No, I don't" said Charles, after looking at the poster briefly.

"Yes, you do" you said.

"Are you talking about your new goatee?" asked Holt.

"Mm-hmm" said Charles.

"I think it's a good choice for your face" Holt said. "Come over here, so I can take a better look."

"Thank you, Captain. I knew you'd appreciate Bianca. That's right; I call her Bianca because she's dark and thick like my first cousin Bianca" Charles said.

"Jeffords, Peralta, now" said Holt as he looked at Charles' beard. 

Terry grabbed Charles from behind, causing him to shout loudly.

Jake walked over. "Say goodbye to Bianca, Boyle."

Charles screamed as Jake turned on the shaver. "No!"

Charles walked into the bullpen, and Jake walked over to him

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Charles walked into the bullpen, and Jake walked over to him.

"Hey, Charles, I have to ask you something, but you have to promise not to get excited and weird" said Jake as Charles sat down opposite you.

"I can't promise anything of the sort" Charles said.

"It's about restaurants" Jake said.

Charles giggled excitedly. "I'm so glad I didn't make that promise."

"Oh, boy. All right, where do you take your dad when you want to go someplace special?" asked Jake.

"Great question. We go to Csaba. It's a Hungarian restaurant that serves 'Tal ezer kolbasz', the platter of a thousand sausages" explained Charles.

"Ugh" you and Jake said.

"It's symbolic of our manhood" said Charles.

"Even more ugh" you said.

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